Eleventh Day

 Wow, it is easy to slip into a similar pattern to what I had at home. I produced a plan to change many things - delete more emails, eat healthily, get enough sleep, write, sketch, take a few classes...and what has happened is the same old same old with a few new twists and turns.

Ok., 11 days out of 120, I still have 109 to go, and I will consider this the coasting into phase.

There is a great deal to say about a sparse, simple room; you get out of it. My new digs invite me to stay, linger, and noodle the time away. Up before dawn to watch the Bills - might as well play cards as the score clicks along - have a cup of tea, read the Sunday D&C. Lay on the bed and watch the motorcycle races... two TVs, two ACs. 

On Friday, I begin a month of no carbs - (I haven't told Leo in the beer bottle yet). There is a pool out my window and down one flight of stairs - two bathing suits in the closet and the pool is perfect for walking—101 excuses as to why I have not been wet or worked out in the exercise room.   So, I am making a list of a few things to do and accomplish and put into a habit -

I will plan the day - MIT's most important things first - habits second - meals third and put a timer on when I am doing "busy" stuff - email, surfing, etc. I just checked off another of the 4156 weeks in my life.

I have made a little progress. I have unsubscribed to twenty more sites and kept my email bin empty.  

I have posted something on Facebook so folks that worry know I am alive

I (Bruce and I) have booked a trip to Laos for Jan 6 to 10, and our mandatory visa run - I hope my visa works.

We have tentative plans for the circle-around CM ride and a scooter trip to Pai. (80 miles)

I plan to go to the Nest and will try to go to Nan with Cheryl.

The teeth work has started - root canal accomplished. Now two crowns.

I have been to the art store three times and had three massages. I have eaten in different places every day except Joey's three times and booked for TG dinner... so not too bad. Onward to the new week and new leaf.

Has it only been since last Tuesday

 It feels like I have been here - as in out of the country, in Thailand, and in my little living space for a long time.   When I reflect that I left on Tues spent 40 hours en route and it is now early Sunday, it feels like a long and brief time.  

    I haven't been all over the city but around the usual route of the old city and you can see some things are gone but many are open and doing well etc.   Some big missing places are the large plaza and music hall.  Hard to believe they would scrap such a wonderful place for music, but I never saw it's even one-half filled.  

    At this moment, Bruce and I are on the second floor, but he is scheduled to move to the 7th(top) floor over my room on the corner.  The back of the space overlooks trees and the side looks toward the mountain.  There are some silly things like a four-shelf shoe rack.  I have my usual sneakers, my water shoes, and my flat-foot-toe space shoes.   The rack could hold fifteen pairs. 

    I have participated in a meal at Joey's, Blue Diamond, UnIrish Pub, and Coffee/Ice Cream place.  Today I hope to do Bake and Bite for Breakfast and I'm not sure about dinner.  Tomorrow I will start intermittent fasting, water walking some weights, and the dentist.

    Went to the plastic store and got a basket that is bungeed on so brought home two gallons of water last night

     Bruce is doing great on his scooter. Getting around the mote and through the traffic like a champion.  It is easier with two bikes, and we can do longer trips more easily.

I am going with the art group to Lampang on the first weekend in December.  I have done nothing with a pencil in an exceptionally long time. But it will come back.

    I will be more regular with my journal blog.  Watched the local election stuff - Jeremy and Jackie made it.  Looking at the US from a distance, it is hard to see democracy but more a continuation of the privileged and the have-nots. sad.

ARE WE THERE YET

 A very frustrating day.   All about money and planes and anxiety.   Hard to relax and be calm. I know Bruce feels the same way.  When I used to do canoeing every once in a while, when I was carrying the canoe from one place to another over my head... the no see ems or mosquito would get under with me and there was nothing to do but keep going.  I would try to not react with the thought that if they just take a little bite and leave, the sting will not be as bad. Sometimes that was true and sometimes not.    

    It started with the Thai Visa, then I got double billed for an app, and I can't reach a vendor to suspend my service and got a bill for a service that was not mine.   I will take the attitude that nothing else can go wrong.  That is not always the case.  Sometimes this is just the prequel to something greater.

So, it has taken me 5 1/2 hrs. today to get the car wash, Sirius, and instant ink suspended for four months...   And I got the lift folks to cancel a pending charge that was not mine.   all of that will amount to about $500.

I got my car to the garage and bike stowed (thank you Karen) and the garage owner to know that the car is there.

I am now cleaning the refrigerator, almost packed, Jim's many dozen scones made.  I will take a nap from midnight to 2 am then shower, load the car and roll down the driveway at 4 am.  and it is all good.  With much good fortune, the bags will be checked to Chiang Mai, I will see Bruce in Tokyo and we will both forget what a hassle this trip has been.

40HRS AND 21 MINUTES SOUNDS LIKE A WORK WEEK... BUT IT WILL GO FROM 6AM ON NOVEMBER 8 TO NOVEM ER 10 FLYING ACROSS 12 TIME ZONES.

PRE TRIP NOTE

 Getting organized.  It is a little scary to feel like I am in great shape to go with things at home in pretty good shape.  I know I can buy about anything in Thailand but a bra, but i want to go feeling i have what i need and will be comfortable and not lacking essentials..

this is the paste from Penzu   This is a test of transferability to the blog. 

now off to complete the prep.

GEARING UP FOR THE ROAD TRIP

 The plan for the trip will be to blog in the evening so I have time to pull my notes and photos together.  This is just the getting-it-ready posting so I can send the link

quiet day

Observe the wonders as they occur around you.  Don’t claim them.  Feel the artistry moving through, and be silent – Rumi

     I have begun to try and cull out a Day of Silence.  As my day of fast, it must start in the evening of one day and end the evening of the next of it could not be done.   My original plan was to take Monday, but then my massage was moved, and the sketch school and sketch group pushed the acupuncture from Tues to Monday.  I had hoped to make it a consistent day.  The reality of connections, expectations, and commitments has made it so that I must review the week carefully and put in my day to accommodate other schedule demands.  I have missed a few weeks.  

      When I return home, I will start with two days a month, the first and third Monday and see how that goes.  I will commit to that but Dr, dog, Jim, etc. might require some flexibility.  My alternative will be a full day within the designated week.

     I grew up in a silent house.  At the time, I thought my mother was weird.  Everyone else that I knew lived in a noisy house – kids yelling, radio/tv blasting, etc.   In our house there was my mom and I – not even a cat.  We had little to say to each other most of the time and had very little interest in common.  If it were not raining, I was outside when the sun was shining or later did not come home from school or college until late.   Mom had some commitments – Girl Scouts, her friends, craft things and when my Dad still worked, helping him.  She did all the household stuff – cooking, laundry, cleaning – all I had to do was stay out of the way and take care of myself.

     I learned in High School that I could not concentrate with the radio on in the background – so sound was left to folding clothes, cleaning a drawer, etc.

     When I was a pre-teen, I loved to walk to the river and just watch the water, sky, boats or trains go by.  When I was at my aunt/uncle’s cottage in Canada, I would sit for hours and watch headlights come at me. 

     I was never a reader.  Everyone in the family and extended family was into books.  They could sit for hours and read.  My Mom was also a knitter and could watch a little tv at night and knit.

     When did we lose the joy of just sitting and our tolerance for quiet? 

     The first thing folks ask me when I say I am going to Thailand by myself…. won’t you be lonely.  What will you do when there is nothing to do?  I have always been able to get someone to talk to me…simple, just ask them about themselves… Most will go on for hours but only a few will return the question and ask about you.  Getting connected is easy.  Getting connected to someone you want to know more about and share some of yourself with, not so easy.

     Most people appear to not want to be alone with themselves…. hence lone-li-ness and thus the fear of solitude.

     I hope when I go home and have my two days, there will be no clock so that I eat when hungry, the meal I am hungry for, go to bed when tired and get up when rested.  

     I can’t write…. take a photo that has meaning… or draw when my mind needs to think of words. Even meaningless chatter to accommodate someone else wondering what you are doing, and can you fill my space with chatter so I don’t have to just be.

    I will end my quiet day soon.  I did go to acupuncture, stop at the art store, take some pictures at a Wat and answer two short emails and a text, but it was my day… happy bonny

a year later

Someone passing through my life at this time has been looking at this blog.  I scribbled for 800 entries and then switched to my personal diary on Penzu.   Stimulated by someone else making a comment, I will put a few of my own musings on here.   Note - I do you spell check and Grammarly, but if I spend real time making this publishable, I will delete and go back to my personal recordings.  So for those of you who just read what comes from my heart.. thanks.

I have been doing some reading about aging. Think birthday 80 in November pushed me a little in that direction.  Other than some heart concerns, I am fortunate to have my mother's health.  Even after her stroke at 90, she was sharp and interested in life and did not miss a trick.

There appear to be two major things that I believe I have developed, which the researchers feel is the key to enjoying life as the calendar says you have been on earth a long time.

Conscientiousness - I want to do whatever I am doing to the best of my ability and better if possible, and I take obligations to others to heart.  My Mom once said I was the most organized, unorganized person she knew, which made me very time efficient. - I plan my day and select my 3 MIT ( most important tasks).

Openness - I love trying new things, and I look for new ideas and new ways of doing things.  When I look at people who are slipping mentally, I often find the complacency to do the same thing. Again, my Mom said - if you want to stay young, keep getting younger friends.  So, I meet everyone I can and try to learn something from each. It's essential to surround ourselves with new people—young people—and to try new things. While some folks might think it is risky for me to be pushing a scooter around, I don't think it is dangerous, and I will not do dangerous things, but new things.

Change - I am not sure everyone needs therapy, but I do feel we need to be open to examining our lives and make changes when it is necessary and appropriate.  It is easy to get stuck and accept - can't teach an old dog a new trick.   By staying mindful, creating some silence to hear your heart sing, and being present in your life - the need to make some shifts float to the top of your awareness.  Grab on... it is exhilarating to wake up and still get excited about the adventure of knowing yourself in your now world.