SB TO NTM

Prologue. I don't feel I am on a soapbox (SB). That is someone else's terms. I also don't want to change anyone about me but only share what is in my head… like other bloggers…or anyone who puts something on paper. I am not trying to convert but say where I am at and have been. I can't tell you where I will go… maybe near…maybe far. So I have renamed my non-picture entries NTM… Note to Myself. I have just found that I can have a few more people on my distribution, so if you are getting this for the first time this trip that is why. You might want to go to the blog and check out some of the pictures… I think some have matched my vision and mind's eye. Happy Bonny. On the distribution, I have a few who occasionally make a comment and a few that rarely say anything and then usually about the pictures. It is all good. I am grateful to a few who send me a note more than occasionally. I try to answer and I am grateful for brother Chris and person I do not know who subscribe. So from now on, if you see NTM and only like pictures… out with the rest of your internet trash right next to the soapbox.
NTM #1 Everything has connections and purpose. I am reminded of the man on the way to Damascus who pointed the way to the Jesus group. He changed history. I have a friend here who told me of a Christmas party which got me to a party and the meeting of the home owner who decided to move back to Canada and sell everything. I went to the sale early in the day but the gate was not open so I went back late in the day and there was very little left.. I bought a dirty dish towel, an electric plug connection since I am one short and a tin cup in case I need it all for 30bht .. less than a dollar. As I was leaving, she came down the stairs and said…. "These books are to go to a good home"… on the top were two books I own…. I have friends that would enjoy these. She had a second copy of one and insisted I take it explaining her Dharma teacher wrote the book*. I took the books. One already have two copies.. one home and a second I just bought at my Chinese Doctor's office…. And the other is a long story made short.
On the first trip to Thailand, I came with a group of folks from Rochester and for the majority of the time we stayed up north in Chiang Dao. The had a lending library, as in please return…and being the compulsive reader, I took a book and when I had a few minutes outside the jolliness we were experiencing.. I started to read it… *Karma…for today's travelers. The book was a turning point in my life and while I have read many, this book lead me to be a much more serious about Buddhism.
We spent great time laughing and drinking beer and "shopping" so the book was a slow go. When we left the Nest, I took the book with me thinking I will bring it back when I return next year. Somewhere along my travels, I put coffee or beer on the book and it looked like it had been in the trash. At home again, I began my search for a replacement. The book is published by the Chiang Mai University Press where the author teaches Buddhist studies… I spent many hours in search of a copy and finally found two which I purchased and had shipped home. The following year, I took one of the pristine copies back to the Nest and placed it on the bookshelf…. And my karma.. which is what the book is about.. is a little less bad.
Yesterday, the woman at the sale handed me two more copies of the book… I will pass one on and reread the other… since for one of the few years, I did not bring my dog eared copy from home.
This year, I am not underlining the books but writing notes.. in the next few days… I will share my notes. I am very grateful to have a newly reintroduced travelling companion… My Observer whom I call MO. So bye for now from BM… bonny and Mo

A good place (SB)

I am coming to have more respect for the QiGong teacher. Reading Qi Gong for total wellness and I can see how much of the master works are in his practice offering.. I have two audio books by Penna Chordron which are really hitting the spot for me. It has been my philosophy that we all need folks that care enough to help us see our blind spots. While I still feel that is a good short cut it is my responsibility to see if what someone says it my truth. If someone says, you are too talk… I might be if the other person is a midget.. but I am short to the rest of the world.
Today I tried to figure out what feelings I want to have… manifest and hold as my goals. Feeling bad about myself over someone else's fantasy is not it. I have been feeling like I should not be helpful to people. I can offer help and they can reject it .. but it is my bonnyness that will offer the help and that is part of who I am. I want to be calm inside.. that does not mean calming.. not does it mean that I will not have passion.. but calm about my passage.
There has always been the "deserving" and the not so deserving poor or people in need. Anyone can jump onto a popular or high cause but it takes a mother Theresa to help the leaper.. the homeless… the alcoholic. The big thing I am learning is that you must do what you can do.. charitable I will do my thing.. and it is all good.
Optimistic is another feeling that I am comfortable about seeking and enhancing. No matter how much bleak I have seen… I still believe in me and all that I am oneness with…. I am glad I have a strong personality.. not everyone's cup of tea… but I would rather be on a quest, honest accepting with myself and stand for who I am. I don't like cookies.. and have never been fond of cookie cutter people.
I don't think I could ever be happy just sitting back and vegetating.. nor not trying to smooth out the corners so I don't lose my edge but I am not sharp. So I am excited about evolving.
Tomorrow, I will put the card in the camera so I don't just write about the soap box