A good place (SB)

I am coming to have more respect for the QiGong teacher. Reading Qi Gong for total wellness and I can see how much of the master works are in his practice offering.. I have two audio books by Penna Chordron which are really hitting the spot for me. It has been my philosophy that we all need folks that care enough to help us see our blind spots. While I still feel that is a good short cut it is my responsibility to see if what someone says it my truth. If someone says, you are too talk… I might be if the other person is a midget.. but I am short to the rest of the world.
Today I tried to figure out what feelings I want to have… manifest and hold as my goals. Feeling bad about myself over someone else's fantasy is not it. I have been feeling like I should not be helpful to people. I can offer help and they can reject it .. but it is my bonnyness that will offer the help and that is part of who I am. I want to be calm inside.. that does not mean calming.. not does it mean that I will not have passion.. but calm about my passage.
There has always been the "deserving" and the not so deserving poor or people in need. Anyone can jump onto a popular or high cause but it takes a mother Theresa to help the leaper.. the homeless… the alcoholic. The big thing I am learning is that you must do what you can do.. charitable I will do my thing.. and it is all good.
Optimistic is another feeling that I am comfortable about seeking and enhancing. No matter how much bleak I have seen… I still believe in me and all that I am oneness with…. I am glad I have a strong personality.. not everyone's cup of tea… but I would rather be on a quest, honest accepting with myself and stand for who I am. I don't like cookies.. and have never been fond of cookie cutter people.
I don't think I could ever be happy just sitting back and vegetating.. nor not trying to smooth out the corners so I don't lose my edge but I am not sharp. So I am excited about evolving.
Tomorrow, I will put the card in the camera so I don't just write about the soap box