I am reading three book – Towards Truth and Wisdom – Ajahn Sumano Bhikkhu, Mindfulness with Breathing – Buddhadasa Bhikkhu, and The Way of Non-Attachment Dhravamsa. This is the third Ajahn book I have had and again it is in the answer question from people who come to the forest Dhravamsa is a famous author and Thai scholar. Since it is not a novel, it doesn't matter which I read and in what order but when I just go with asking my inner self what is what I need… I pick up the right book at the right time.
On New Year's Eve, I picked Mindfulness and read…. Take a good clear look at your problems and suffering before you read further. At first glance, I thought, there are no problems and suffering. I have enough money to do things I want to do, health to not be limited, an attitude toward life that brings me many smiles, and an ability to see the small (minutia) as well as the big picture.
I sat with myself and while I am not in pain, I am not content with the way – manner, amount, quality, type of food I eat. I am constantly looking at the scale or regretting my consumption. My intention is greater than my practice of meditation and qigong… I should, why didn't I ,,,tomorrow I will. This has been my pattern… Unless I have a class and must….I often don't. My conflict of person – I want to right what is wrong but need to be "loved". I put distance to avoid issues and then feel the isolation. I can see movement toward a universal connection of self with self and others, but still have not found the balance… be me… hold to principles… accept the "other" as myself.
I can see how interpreting why someone does something is a very faults process. If I jump in a puddle.. is it to get my feet wet or wash my shoes…. To the observe, both are crazy… however, if my feet are hot.. it is relaxing.
So better later than never, I am going to go on a quest to develop my life. First, I commit to keep from coming into my life, that which is dangerous. Second, I work to destroy, eliminate that which is in my life that is dangerous for me. Third, to work toward generating that which is useful and beneficial and finally, to maintain this lifestyle. To do this, I must be have 1) Mindfulness or reflective awareness. 2)Comprehension (wisdom in action), 3) Spiritual Knowledge and 4)Concentration, collectiveness or stability.
The more I listen, see, read, etc., the more I know the Vipassand practice with provide me the passage to progress on my path….and I am loved.
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