Not my Time

There problem with not having adversity and issues 24/7 is that when they come and hit you in the nose when your just walking along enjoying the walk... you get tossed about. Durkheim attributed anomie to the absence of any kind of rule, law, principle or order. In this state there is a sense of walking about without ground underfoot. While I feel principles it is the order that feels mixed like I have been caught in a very large power lawn sweeper and I and the leaves are all floating about with rapid thoughts and confusion about direction. I have been going to Albany for several weekends now to support my friend and get a sense of where she is in her health life. At the first meeting, she got annoyed that I used the word cancer for her 3.5 inch tumor and this past weekend, still without a final diagnosis except metastasis breast cancer in the Ilium, she sat in the oncology unit with a drip into her body to help increase the bone strength. The information that the doctor gives you in the session with him, is clear at the time, but then leaves you as you walk out the door. What was the term, what are you taking, what did he say, what is happening.. what happens next. First and foremost has been, don’t break the bone. Second, don’t let it hurt too much. The horses are settled for now. A great friend of hers is paying to have help with them morning and night. The dogs are still an issue, but she is handling them since she is still walking about and is strong enough. When you look at her, she is still the same person with a good appetite and challenging personality but when you read about what is happening.. it does not read like storybook. Then I drove home in what was stated to be the storm of the century. There were cars off the road and very bad driving between Albany and Utica, but other than that, not a bad trip. The bad part was really bad. There was a second when my life was in front on me and taking care of my friend sounded like a good deal. A woman who had been hanging in the passing lane, did not see me and forgot I was there and started to pull into my lane. She hit the slush and it blinded me. I blasted my horn and slowed up and with good luck, she moved back into her lane. It could have gone the other way and she would have hit my car and spun us into fate. I came home to my roomer finding out that his wife, whom he has been “talking with” for some months with the hope of some reconciliation, not only found out she has had a person in her life for years, but now has a new love and can’t eat or sleep with the buzz of the new love. Of course she has no money for the taxes and has a big penalty for hitting her retirement money. So he will take every penny he has saved and pay the taxes with a promissory note that she will repay... My dog will get her hair cut today and then start wearing her underpants.. my car, which just had the final payment, is making weird noises. So like when I would come home dizzy form too much to drink.. I just want to put my foot on the floor and stop the world from tossing so much up in the air. Since that can’t be done and when in a state of Anomie.. take a warm shower, wash your hair, do laundry, pay taxes, balance checkbook, meditate and be in the Now and know you can handle whatever comes down the pike.