solitude

For weeks I have struggled to put some words to the difference between loneliness and solitude. I glance at the TV and there was another story of a child being pulled out of a space that is inches high where they have waited for either death or life. I think of moments when I, even for a second was in a “tight space”,,,such as the caves of Chiang Dao, the Disney ride that was not moving and the air turned off for a minute or two and I cannot imagine being able to survive Alone and Forsaken. I suspect like many, I have not wanted to watch the pain and suffering of Haiti, but I am amazed and in awe and respect the resiliency of the people and children who were able to survive something that I cannot imagine.
I often select solitude. It isn’t that I isolate as much as a I step out and get some fresh air in the head. These are the times when I have to answer my own tough questions.. who what where why when and most of all how. It is also the time that I realize that I have been floating down some life stream without asking those questions and thus have taken a detour from my more authentic self and ended up in some safe but stagnate pond.
I know I want community and a sense of being part of something. Not just any group nor at any price to others. I am willing to walk to my own beat even if I walk alone. I want mission, goals, common objectives so that it is a playing field with direction and common understanding. I know from times of social consciousness that there are people out there that are not just dish deep and who want the same.
I want to talk about something that is beyond gossip or and gets back to my love of ethics and philosophy. This isn’t for everyone, but it is for me. Somewhere in that rare quit of the mind there is a real me