to me

Bonny it is time to go home and you hope you are ready.  Not ready to leave BKK, that is ok, but ready to take our fragile practice home.  I made a choice not to go to the insight meditation class.  I can do that at home and in the readings, but a $10 90 min massage or a $15 min facial with facial hair removal and a mask... they are hard to find.  I had a Chang and a salad and roasted nuts and read and window shopped and it is all good.  It is hot... no pictures I am in the aircon to revive me.  I scrolled through the pics and I like the way many of the collages turned out... if you have been here.. you can see the story and if you have not been here.. you may say.. where are the beaches... maybe another time..for they surely are here and it is very easy to go an sit on the beach.  What has impressed me is how I have tried to take care of myself.. setting up my life so I spent less time looking for everything.  I enjoyed being alone and in CM...I can meet and be with folks very quickly.. here.. I think I could meet folks at the veggie place.. but many are not of interest to meet...again.. I am taking care of myself.  I am tired.. I will try to sleep as much as I can on the first leg of the trip.. it says.. going west to east..sleep... east to west...stay up.... I get on the plane at 11:40pm one day and off 10am the next...  (that is the time change...12 time zones).   For those that have commented..thank you. For those that had nothing to say... that speaks volumes and we probably speak different languages.  For those that read my words.. it was a personal journey..I cared enough to write and you cared enough to read.. for those that looked at the pictures.. you need the smells and the heat to get the 3d.. Whatever you did and I did... we did and it is over... 50days...I found a way to call the farm all but a few days.. and found a way to write most days.. it is Bonny's life journey... and I will take the time to read each page upon my return for the strength to beat my own drum...
There are times when I think I have no home and what am I doing in such a small place.  I am sure if I sold the house, Georgette would let me be a farm hand when I am in the US...I don't know where I am going or what I will do...but I will know when I see it.. for now... I am hear to end suffering.. if ending suffering is not more important than anything...I will not end suffering.  Madame Bonne...the bonz... over and out.