We can run but we can’t hide

There is no short cut through a problem. Whenever I find that I am running fast to get out of my own way, I am usually trying to avoid something and filling my life with stuff so I don’t have to be alone. But it is embracing the alone that will get you through the issue and the crazy busy that will only encourage avoidance and keep you numb and eventually prolong the pain.
When we stray out of Now and play old tapes of failure and disappointment and cling to pain.. it is like the Ground Hog movie except things don’t get better. The only way to make friends with you is to spend time getting to know yourself again. Retreat… go home…stay home. The more the walks close in...the closer to the resolution. In the past few days, I have taken a look at my fear of scarcity. It is not attachment that keeps me holding thing long after they should be gone but a new form of fear of abandonment. There are things in my life that I have decided I don’t want…but I will hold on tenaciously and then be sad that they might leave.
Our life is a single person passage. If we meet a fellow traveler for a little time to travel with… great. However, at the end of the walk… I am accountable for how well I spent my life… not my “stuff”… and if all I can say is I wept over what might have been...or what could be...can you say this was a life well lived.