Thursday, December 13, 2012

Counter top measure


It is my experience that you do not realize how much things have gotten out of control until you take a second look at life space or are looking for something that you know is around here someplace.  I come into the house and put things on the counter, then I decide to clean out something and put more things on the counter in a mindless manner.  I might give a momentary thought, I really need to put things away, but it just starts to pile up.    It is OK to agree that everything should have a place and nothing should be on the counter but another thing to do it.   It sounds simple.  Just walk over there and take the top thing and put it where is should be.  Well were it should be something else is in its place and you don’t have time to take care of it.  I have lived by the drain pipe method for years.  When you hear the water of your life going down the overflow drain, such as that in the bathtub, you best do something before you have water on the floor.   I have depended on my ability to scramble to catch up.  When I was young and at home, I would leave the house with seconds to spare and race to the bus stop just as the bus was arriving.  It worked.  I could always clean up just before company. It worked.  I have expected everything from my energy level.  The scramble, the overwork, the late nights and early morning, the candle burning at both ends and it worked.   A few weeks ago, I had a fireworks episode in my left eye.  I could not see through the explosion and could not get it to stop when I closed my eyes.   It is my left ear that is now deaf so I was worried that my left eye knew something that I didn’t know..like I was running out of heart beats.   It turned out to be an optical migraine which went away in an hour, but it was my overflow telling me it was time to really pay attention.  The counter top is clearing, the basement is clearing, the back yard is clearing and I am getting ready to go away on a 60 day retreat… good food, exercise, attention to my body , mind and spirit.  This time is different.  I am check out what condition my condition is in and today is the stress test to see what is happening to my extra heart beats.  What is different this year, I am preparing for my return before I leave.  I don’t want to spend my energy looking for what is not in place nor living with the items of my life sitting close to the overflow drain. I want to get off the plane in March to my home with clear counters.   I have already spend years looking for my keys, glasses and wallet and now cell phone. It worked but I don’t want it.   And what is amazing.  The more I live in an environment that is comfortable and inviting to myself… the more I sigh and say.. another beautiful day in the comfort of my own home this is my life and I am happy.

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