no regret

Now is just a place of not being caught trying to replay the tapes of yesterday nor gazing into what we think tomorrow will bring.

I remember well a time when a relationship that I thought would last forever was ending or had ended.  I spend months trying to replay every conversation, every meeting, and every person that was in or out of our lives.  I scolded myself for every misspoken word, every word not said, I thought if only I had danced faster, smarter, better… the relationship was over, there was no going back.   But I spent month in a rearview world trying to repair my memory so I could make the outcome different.

I remember well walking out of the room where Chuck died.. and thinking… I have no regrets.   I think of him often, talk of him often, he is in the floorboards of my house….i wish he was here, I miss him.  But when I had something to say… I said it… no regrets.

Replaying the past is a great waste of energy and while you are doing it…you’re missing the crocus, the chickadee, the white fluffy clouds.  And then tomorrow, you can try to remember, what was the gift of yesterday that I did not feel since I was trying to remember the gift of last week.

Oh how foolish we are not to fully take in…110% the gifts that are our now.