This has been one of those days when you just wonder what you are doing.  A couple of meetings for the community, a long afternoon of writing for the community, and an evening of sitting through another long meeting….and then… just some sit back and enjoy a blast from the past watching The Band and the movie The Last Waltz.  Tempting not to smoke a joint for I was back listening to the concerts in my head – so many I had heard or seen or been in the field when they played.  …. Muddy Waters… “I am a man”…. Joni Mitchell…. “hitchhiker” …..Eric Clampton… and what is new.  Someone said today that they hoped could learn to love myself… well honey… that is not my problem…   I am pretty happy with the core me, just hate when I get into the undertow of minutia.  

Housemate Jim tells me that the rule of the warehouse is … don’t f… with me.. and I will not f….with you…. Love it…   Today someone f…..with me.. I am out of their company.  Don’t want to get even…want to get going… I have too many placed to see and too much to do to get into some else’s stuff.  I feel I have about 10 years of good health.. sure don’t want to use the time to chaise rainbows.

As I listened to the music tonight I thought of all the great times I have had …..”the night they tore ol’ Dixie down….”.  I know I am really not getting my “me” across when I project that I don’t love my life or love myself..       It has been a wonderful life.  I love me so much that I am only going to do the things I want to do….   Last night I went out with folks from my first Thailand trip….  I was on stage again…I love making people laugh…I thought how much Dan would have enjoyed the evening…the old Thailand Gang together again and if felt like only yesterday.  It is 2:15AM…..so…out of her.

I am not going to take any time to explain me… you either get me or don’t and that is ok…because…I get me.. and that is who matters…