Mis-take

Somewhere in the middle of all of my thinking these past few days, I was drawn to re examine Coming to our Senses, healing ourselves  (Jon Kabat-Zinn) The whole mindfulness stuff has to do with not being on the slippery slope of the casual chain from mis-perception to mis-apprehension to mis-appraisal to mis-attribution and eventually mis-take. The moral of many stories...it ain't necessarily so.
I see that it is so important to check and double check what we say and write. I am responsible for my words. When I write on the blog the auto correct takes over and adjust what I think I am saying to what it thinks I should be saying. When I read it back, I think what is that, who wrote that.
I know that I have a processing issue. I think much faster than I write. I leave out words and for the most part, my loving friends fill in the blanks. I don't do well with folks that are literal or precise. But those are the very people who will force me to grow.
 I also see that often when I was trying to keep someone from suffering, I jumped in, well meaning, but my act and words were seen as uncaring or not listening.
 It is much easier to just listen and not try to fix.
 I have kept 1000 of emails and have read many over and can see who responds and what they say. Not listening is endemic. In one case when I said, I would be more comfortable if I could bring a friend, what was reported was I was not coming at all. I appeared a drama queen when I was hurting and just wanted some support.
In another case, I asked for clarity about what someone said and I was told, I get 100's emails and just thought the topic was about something else.
What all this says to me, our rushing can lead to many mis-takes and many people want a free pass when a mis-take is made but might not want to give the same to others.
 I can't do much about others but I will try very hard to live and write and speak more mindfully. I have been accused of sending email bombs but I read them as strong opinions about a topic not the person. I have received some very cruel personal attacks about my effort and ability. I know the difference.
I will do my very best not to lose my love of life and spontaneous nature. If I make a mistake, I will try to correct the problem. I am human. You are human and if I don't understand I will ask for clarity rather than kicking someone to the curb.
 I am sad because I may have to move on and away from those that want the free pass but don't want to do the work. I know there are many people out there and in my life that are on a quest for inner peace and compassion. "I am here to end suffering, if suffering is more important than anything, I will end suffering..."