returned

Spiritual change is precisely a process that is bigger than you. You don't contol it, you surrender. You don't reinvent yourself through spiritual work. You face yourself and then you must let go of all the ghastly things you find.  But there is no end to the ghastly things.  They keep coming.  The ego is a bottomless pit of suckiness. And so you finely let go of the self that clings to itself.
True freedom comes when ego goes.  Shogen Jack Haubner