A New Way

I have just discovered I can do my writing offline and on Word. The auto spellcheck on line has caused even me to wonder what is being said. The regular readers are very generous with their patience with this. I am particularly heartfelt by my friend JoAnn who spent years proofing documents and never says….what were you talking about…she just reads with compassion.

My friend Rich who writes a blog for the home paper which has a 120 word limit says he writes and then trims until it still has content but little fluff. When I write my blog without pictures, it is just my free flow of thought and primarily written for me to see my journey. I don't reread and thus don't edit… what is is. When on line, the internet goes off and the blog goes to draft and yet I am still writing and that part gets lost…. Etc. I think this might be an easier way.

I have had company the last three nights for dinner. I always enjoy a good conversation and particularly one where we can get to know the other(s) and myself better. Many times, someone asks a question or poses and opinion that I then say…wow…never thought of it that way.

Weds night Jeannine and I wandered about and finally found a place to eat in a part of town that it appears few select to eat. My salad and pasta came in reasonable time, but her two egg frittata took long enough for them to go buy a chicken and wait for the egg. I think I am going to add…"It is what it is" to my "it's all good"…same same but different. We think alike in many ways and different in others. Best our friendship allows us to shine a little flashlight app on our dark side and I always come away know myself a little better. She has really helped me to look at how I can take better care of myself while still be compassionate and thoughtful to others. Hard for me to accept taking care of me first but I also recognize that if I am not compassionate to myself, how can I be for others?

Two interesting people have been in my QiKong class for the past two weeks and we agreed to dinner. I picked Dash's and they enjoyed the food and atmosphere. Out conversation had more to do being fiscally conservative and politically liberal and living with systems that are not compassionate. In our passage, we all have folks that are very opposite to us or who don't wonder who lives in the shack. (Note picture in yesterday's blog) On Facebook, a sociologist friend asks…can you really say you went to a country without knowing the people, culture, habits, ….and who are these people. Our conversation was about society judgment of those that struggle. They have a son that is in a struggle and would struggle more if they were not giving support. I hope they take the class next week for I enjoy having tea first thing with them.

This week, there have been several situations of miscommunication with H&H regarding eating. I feel like a beggar driving around looking for where they are so I can eat with them and this is particularly true when I am asked where I am eating. Rather than go to the drama of what did they mean…are they taking a survey or are they trying to think of how far they can go to avoid me. This was my opportunity to have compassion for myself and say …when you want to eat together and where and what time. It is important that they pick the place and time so that Hanna is most comfortable since she is never hungry and rarely enjoys the food. We are all very different and they spent much energy resolving past pains…which were horrific - one layer at a time. I am not denying or repressing anything of the past – if something comes up…how is this effecting my Now. Being a present moment person doesn't give much space for looking backwards. And it is all good.

I have been asked if I am having a good time. My time is perfect… I laugh a lot, I enjoy my own company, I am feeling healthy and I am as "happy as I make my mind up to be"…. b