Being
“nice” is a form of lying.
When
I feel unhappy, disappointed, or need to express my needs but hold back and don’t say anything, it ultimately
becomes a form of lying.
The
mouth says yes and the heart says no.
when I keep my mouth shut when I feel
disappointed,
when I don’t hold people accountable for
things they agreed to do
I
stuff my feeling and I am unauthentic.
When
I’m not honest, I create a war within myself and conflict around me. What I
often do is take the “nice” way. I don’t say anything, put on a
fake smile, mumble under my breath, do the work myself, and become a “hero” in
my mind – all the while, harbor resentment and have thoughts of “murder”.
My
other approach is rather than tell the truth I let the pot boil inside until I
leak out some noxious gas or I explode. Then I’m not so nice.
I have
a few situations on my plate that require an honest look. At this time, I am
working hard to make things correct, even if they are not and I am ending up
being unhappy and frustrated. Without an
honest chat about my feelings, the other person doesn’t get that chance to
display their best self. So, this will be a test can and I will work on being
more authentic and give people the opportunity
to show up, reveal their best assets, or deal with the consequences of
not being right for the job.
I
also have come to realize; I am not good with non-authentic people. So I will
hold to my integrity and be truthful with others and with myself so that I
communicate authentically. That way my heart and my mouth will be saying the
same thing.
Wow….
self-change is incredibly challenging.
.
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