Monday, December 21, 2015

Being nice

Being “nice” is a form of lying.

When I feel unhappy, disappointed, or need to express my needs but hold back and don’t say anything, it ultimately becomes a form of lying. 

The mouth says yes and the heart says no. 
    when I keep my mouth shut when I feel disappointed,
    when I don’t hold people accountable for things they agreed to do
I stuff my feeling and I am unauthentic.

When I’m not honest, I create a war within myself and conflict around me. What I often do is take the “nice” way.  I don’t say anything, put on a fake smile, mumble under my breath, do the work myself, and become a “hero” in my mind – all the while, harbor resentment and have thoughts of “murder”.
My other approach is rather than tell the truth I let the pot boil inside until I leak out some noxious gas or I explode. Then I’m not so nice.

I have a few situations on my plate that require an honest look. At this time, I am working hard to make things correct, even if they are not and I am ending up being unhappy and frustrated.  Without an honest chat about my feelings, the other person doesn’t get that chance to display their best self. So, this will be a test can and I will work on being more authentic and give people the opportunity to show up, reveal their best assets, or deal with the consequences of not being right for the job.

I also have come to realize; I am not good with non-authentic people. So I will hold to my integrity and be truthful with others and with myself so that I communicate authentically. That way my heart and my mouth will be saying the same thing.

Wow…. self-change is incredibly challenging. 

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