My constant friend

The first time I came to Thailand for a long stay, I was surprised at who kept in contact with me and who I never heard from.   In the first years, I internalized it, and my child came out and was hurt and angry.   In my youth, when my parents would come for an intense weekend and then be gone when I awoke, I had a very great sense of abandonment.   Maybe it was then that I discovered suffering and impermanence.

For a long time, I used the phrase, a friend is the first person who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.  It is a good saying still.   I think a good phase for people in others lives..... No money no honey.   When your up and on your feet... lots of people walk with you. But when you stumble... only a very few stop and fewer yet wait for you to get up.

All of my experience of abandonment and lack of connection also put me on this path of befriending myself.  My only task in life is to know myself.  Everything else, job, possessions, people, pets are just part of the scenery that help me know.   You can’t know anything without observation and really taking a good look.   

The more I accept myself and others, the more I realize that it is not too easy to know anything without take some good time to do so.

So self… today you will be a true friend to you

I will give what is difficult to give – (honest observation, time, true caring…)

I will patiently endure what is difficult to endure – ( mis-steps, restarts, shifts in attention,….)

I will do what is difficult to do …(take an true look at where I am in life, who walks with me, my path)

I will not abandon when there is misfortune or I am not at my easiest to walk with

Let go………………………..friend…… You are awaiting the day