Progress Report

A quarter of my time in Asia has past.

 I still have one foot in the connection with others here in Thailand which keeps me from floating off – QiKong, Phat, Munkala Clinic, and for December swimming.  At this time, there is sporadic contact with H&H and a social connection with the folks in the compound.  

 I still have a few things to finish relating to home projects.  However, my day is shifting around what does my heart say I want to spend time doing and with whom doing it and what does my body say it needs to maintain or support and continued wellness.

 

My learning has been exponential re my use of energy regarding my physical needs and I am gaining insight as to what enhances my emotional life.  With each encounter with people, I say “is my heart smiling at the time spent”.  This trip feels very different and I am enjoying my time without a consistent or regular people connection.  Like my food, I am beginning to have more discernment about where I feel appreciated and whom I enjoy.  After a month, what I thought I needed is not as important as what I need most, self-awareness. 

Even knowing that nothing is permanent when you have people connected to you in your life, you think that this will be the connection forever or a long time.   Sometimes I want things, people, places just to stay in place so I know I have a place to hang a hat or connect.  But there is a great deal of fantasy about some of the connections.  Putting physical distance between the home people has confirmed that the emotional connection is in reality not that close.   Like here, I have a collection of good health support.  

At this moment, It is my connection with myself that is the most important.  I had a fantasy that if I were engaged in a meaningful relationship I would get some real feedback that could support my search for my Buddha.  For most of the people around me, I don’t see that anyone really has that whether they are connected to someone or not.

I have gathered a great deal of information in the past month.  I watch a video a day about something that will enhance my physical life – eating or exercise or my spiritual life.   I am also gathering much information about relationships as I sit and watch others.  It is amazing how many “needy” people find people who want to be needed or how many totally self-absorbed people find folks that what to trail after them like puppies.  

I have confirmed how important my four legged family is to me and how much concern I have for many people who pass my life.   However, at this time, the remote connection is more for enhancement that real support.  In addition to a hug occasionally it would be nice to have “how you doing?”.   I am beginning to think that is why people go to the doctor.  “Am I ok?”…  

Tune in next month.