10 day vacation or 10 days of lost in space

I like drifting.  My Asia time is my time to float and let the wind blow me to here or there.  I like checking out new places and watching life unfold on the back soi.   In the past ten days, I have taken several rides in the country with and without a passenger and continued to swim three days a week. However, there has been a shift.  I have slid into being a caretaker and trying to be helpful.  I am not sure anyone wants the help, but I have been out there offering to do things that I think would make the trip for others more attractive. The result has been, a taste of home.  I feel the fragmentation of my life and the shift outward is not where I had hoped to be.
Today was balance day.  Except for a few hours of dinner, I did what I wanted to do and enjoyed my company.   I am happy when I am on a trip to no place or every place or someplace.

my poor Buddha says... "you think you got troubles!!!!!!"

I want to remind you ... I am a Florida dog... I am not taking off the sweater and not going out!!!

My treadmill running has been to take me away from the reality of my swimming. 

Last Friday I came very close to tossing in the goggles.  I was back to head in the water, pulling one arm back and gliding.   I have no idea what slippery means or a wall of water.  I can't keep it straight as to when I to the foot flick and which foot I should be using.  

Fred and I came very close to a trial separation in our "marriage".  He feels that I don't listen and in my desire to get ahead, I do things that are not being requested.  When I am in the water, my gliding hand moves involuntarily and I do the flutter kick rather than the flick.  I have had all I can to do to keep going.

Everyone has advise.   It is easier with flippers.  Just swim with your head out of the water.  All of a sudden, you will just start to swim.   I have six more lessons. If I am not swimming across the pool by the end of February... I will toss the suit and have that as an add on to the long list of things I am not good at doing.   We swam Sunday.   I did better.  I could feel slippery.   Today I had the day to me.  I felt my confidence coming back... and more, I got in touch with what and who makes me happy.
I am grateful for the past few weeks since the tailspin has reminded me that I have a very sensitive balance system in my life.   A month from today I will be back home, and it is time for me to get my resolve to live my life on solid ground.