Dinner Reflections

REFLECTIONS I posted on FB this past Wednesday that I sat next to a Republican etc.  I have taken a few days to push that around in my spirit to see what it was about.  Every time something unexpected is tossed in my way, I find that I revert to my patterned life.  In this case, I feel hostile and want him just to go away.  When he doesn’t, I use barbs to send angry dots at him.  The only way for me to get clarity regarding the learning lessons is to sit down and watch the movie.  Then watch it again with several editors – horror films director – he will be dead in the end, Meg Ryan early movies director – I will be loving, and the best bonny director- what would my best bonny do in this situation.

I had to watch the movie several times and particularly note the scene.   Many of the small tables for one or two were with “reservation” signs and that left very few options.  There was a nice looking 60 yr old man with a Thai woman and an English speaking older couple with the woman looking like she had gotten there early for happy hour (1/2 wine).  I chose the mixed couple and best they were on my deaf side, I had my book, and I was hungry and not intending to stay for the jazz/blues Wed night.

I sat, the waitress – “mickey mouse” knows my name and quickly came, took the order and I had my glass of wine, fresh bread with oil.  Before I could pick up my book, the man next to me had his hand on my book and off the table with “can I look at your book” and was glancing at the back cover.  As he read, his wife ( he later informed me he married the Thai girl three years ago and I will note she calls him Papa) asked what it was about.  His reply – “it is a self-help book about spirituality.”  Mmmm that was the beginning of the slippery slope.  

I turned the book over to look what was on the back cover…. “what home is supposed to be – a place that revives and nurtures you, welcomes you back each day, and invites visitors to return”…    I did not get out of my defensive self just to say….ok .. I guess you could call it a self-help spiritual book.  It is one of my favorite books right up there with Don’t Push the River and the Razor’s Edge.  I also know from Kim O that she is a vegan cook and I have purchased several of her cookbooks -Love Yourself Thin.

Ok, I could feel a small piece of ember in the gut which became a flame when he added that stuff is ok as long as you hold your Christian values.  “I am a Buddhist”… that is ok same as Christian…   “Buddha was before Christ”….  There were several more instructional comments and I began to think does he want me to call him PaPa…. But I added…  “You probably voted for Trump and don’t believe in climate change” (please bring my food)… all the time I am having to turn and face him since he was on my deaf side.   I am a life-long Republican (from Minnesota) and they have debunked the climate stuff.  He didn’t have a red hat…. But short of chewing off a foot… I needed to separate myself.  

The food came.

I centered on the old OA tactics of becoming totally aware of eating.   Up he popped…. How is your stew?  My beef was a little fatty and chewy and I was thinking of ordering the special next time.  “Next time do that…. But you will be given what you are to eat – good or bad…  Finally he realized that I did not think he was brilliant and was not interested in sharing dinner with him just because our seats were inches apart.  There were several more comments and I found my mindful eating was focused on finishing and getting out of the place.  

I will carefully select my seat and might ask to sit at the end of the bar… or just not eat.    

Whew.. feel better.