addendum

A buddy asked if I were ok after yesterdays blog.

I am going through a shift.    I feel alive and very present.  Sort of like after the cataract surgery... the cloud of trying to control or impact anything is fading.  I can only do what I am doing at this moment.   There is no change in my love of life or the adventure of moving through the streets.  I just feel more aware of it all, and it is like taking a picture.  Click..that second is gone..the scene changes, the cloud passes, the sun moved.  Click the new picture, and still, there will be a new picture in another second. 

If anything I feel more in love with life and all the shadows of things. The things that  I can't do anything about are fading into the corners of my vision.   I watched Frankie and Grace last night and smiled at all the corners the people put them themselves into in the fiction.   I watch friends, people on the street, in my class, at a restaurant and see all the corners people put themselves into.  I can share what I see, even what I feel.  Like laying information on the street and it is up to the other person to pick it up and do something, or not. 

As I looked at my picture of living at my house....even people who felt more annoying are just part of my scenery..just there.  I can move my position and view, and they are not part of my immediate vision.  I hope that with practice, I can spend zero time trying to change anything, be annoyed at the habitual habit of some around me,  but only be at the moment and be present.  It gives a new meaning to self-absorbed. 

The cartoon of life feels funnier.  I see more lines and shadows and it is less necessary to have the sun a certain way. The sun is, my camera is, I am, you are... and it is all good.