New Chapter

I feel like I have had a trip to the Spa. When you are in the steam or sauna room, your pores open and you shed what is not helpful and necessary to your life. The toxins that you don’t even know that are draining your energy, come out as refuge. For years, I held onto a need to belong and a fear of abandonment. The one person and place that I could control was myself and my one rejection of me. I ran everyone’s race and still could not get off the starting block because I ran in every direction. What did that get me, exhaustion and a critical view from people that I did not respect?
Someone should do this or that, had me walking the ice streets in the middle of winter, coming home early to do someone else’s task, and who really cares? I really don’t know when the final straw fell or maybe it was the trip west, where I came to spend such long hours with Ru and Sarah and Bonny...but I feel like I have just begun my adult life and know that I will do more than survive, I will thrive. I am going to start writing everyday.. I might write about where I am now, or go back to some earlier times and fill in pieces. If you are getting this as an email, it is what is on the blog for the day and if you don’t want to go on the venture with me, let me know. I will write if no one reads, and I will not spend another second with people I do not enjoy. I am excited about where I see the ship going... so sit down and buckle the seat belt.. your in for a ride.!!!