The Plan

I am working on my next Best Year Yet plan. I have done this for several years now and have a history of what I planned to do is altered because I responded to some universal undertow. Some have been tsunami and some an almost dry creek with a trickle, but all has had the same affect. I can see in looking back that there were many reasons for the altered course, not the least being that almost any one's needs were more important than mine. I went to a Franciscan college and the Prayer of St Francis was said over an over..."not so much as to be understood as to understand".. maybe that is why I am no longer practicing since I want to jump on a bench or shout out the window...what about me.. when is it my turn.
In looking at the plan and my life, it has been me that has occasionally lost my understanding of myself and spent great energy running after people, placed and things. My morning meditation includes... "there is nothing permanent"..and I know this, but I just can't feel it when I see folks fading away, relationships change and voids created. It is then when I become the seven year old who asks people to inviting me in, brings a toy to leave, and hopes for a return visit. It is the adult that sees that upon careful look, these are neither friends or someone with whom I will have a lasting friend ship. In the middle of the Tiger stuff, I am thinking what a great chance to see who are your friends...for they will be the first to walk in when the rest of the world walks out. So...i have about $70 in gift certificates to my favorite restaurant, Rooney's. In my usual mode, I would ask someone to join me for lunch, but in my understand bonny mode, I am taking my best buddy Bonny to dinner.. and I hope she picks up the tip.