Day before...


Tomorrow begins my fifth trip to Asia and the first that will be totally solo. Fifty days. While this is not the way I thought I would be travelling, my buddies kidneys decided to get stoned. The solo trip will leave me to my own ventures.

A few years ago, the night before I took my road trip to see the canyons , “I thought what are you doing?” I packed up my gear spread out my mattress and I motored down the highway in a 2003 Subaru with over 100,000 miles - solo. Finding the first Wal-Mart and then talking myself into sleeping was not easy. Ok I was not half way around the world, but I was on blue line roads by myself with everyone I know saying are you crazy.

As I looked at my last year, as Forest Gump would say..” life is just a box of chocolates”.. Some of my projects and adventures and life travelling companions have worked out as I thought they would and others have been a total surprise – the good the bad and the ugly.

One of the highlights of the year was that I was able to say, “this is not working for me” rather than try to figure out how I can keep doing something even if it is not pleasurable.

I am at a crossroad in my life and this trip is a very important part of taking a step back and away.. so that I can say to myself, “before you drive your car any farther down the path.. do you really want to be driving in that direction, in that car, with those people”. I have may few choices from a personal perspective and more often, taken on responsibility because someone should.

Every New Years Eve, I spend time in reflection. I use to sit at the Zen Center but my legs are not happy with the long sits and now I sit at home. In the evening, I walk about and see folks gather to share the New Year. One year, I stood on the corner with an old neighbor who had elected to isolate and looked at a house with most of the folks that I did project with during the year. He could tell I was really taking stock of the fact that I was outside and everyone was in. My corner partner has move on and hopeful is in a better place and I am still on the outside walking about looking in but things are changing for me.

This trip will be a reflection on how I can be selective in my life and make the last 10% of my time good for me.

Whatever happens, it will all be good. I feel very free and would really not feel too badly if I just kept walking. What I wanted to start in my community is going.. and it will either keep going or not. I have pretty good health, a small amount of money but enough.. and a belief that there are many solo adventures out there for me to see, reflect and photograph.

I leave totally accepting that NOW will take me to where I will not be standing outside wishing I was invited. I leave with my life companion and best friend. .. my full self.. and my adventure may take me here or there.. and I hope to come home with a greater knowledge of what works for me.. to be embraced and what doesn’t ,,,,to be released. If you would like to follow my journey.. come along.. and if not.. see you .. or not see you when I return.