Compasson in the night

"It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments….."

I have been organizing my plethora of books and making piles of give to someone, leave on the street, and trash as well as …the gosh I forgot I had this pile.  I have known for a long time that I needed an intervention and that I could not go into a book store without supervision. Recently, at Kripalu, I went into the bookstore several times thinking, "there must be something I can buy".  While I have more books than my library and the multiple bookcases throughout the house can hold, it has been a joy to experience reunions of several very old friends, such as the quote above.  I find myself experiencing more compassion. Having been in the other side of the couch business as well as a constant striving to improve person, I am very convinced that we have multiple personalities, I am sure it is my evil twin that makes such a mess of my house, but it is also my higher and best self that has compassion for that part of me that is always trying, always organizing, problem solving, and jumping in to fix things.  I feel that she just needs to be held tight and told.. shhhhh it is ok, you don’t need to do any of it, just be and it is perfect. And for tonight in the empty moments… I like me.