Values

“How is it that I so consistently do not choose what I value and instead choose what I do not value?

 I want this and yet consistently do that.”   – Cheri Huber

            I have long considered Cheri Huber my teacher.  I have not been in her presence for many years but I have her books and I use the monastery morning meditation reflection as my own as well as the daily reminders, etc.   What attracted me to her is that it feels like she is in my head.  This is particularly true when I do my out of body experience and watch myself doing something that is not what I want to be doing, saying, acting, etc.  I am try to remember that life is a practice.  I am not a Buddhist, meditater, cook, dreamer….I am just practicing at them all. 

            I am also reminded that when we lose our innocence as a young child and move away from simple and our true self, we put on a coat of believe that we are separate.  We start to believe that this is the way things are and anything not the same as my way is another way and my way is better or not as good a way etc.  Cheri refers to this as having lenses installed in our eye and thus the reason we are attracted to some and repelled by others. Our “tribe” wears the same lenses. 

            I hear the clock in my life ticking.  When I was younger, there would be lots of time to do this or make that or learn the other.  Tick tick… while we never know the time of departing, there is a logic that says at a person approaching 74 as less ticks on the clock that one 24. Now I have to be more discerning about how many steps I want to climb or actually, how many I can climb.

            I value attributes.   We all don’t have them all the time but some have more of them than other people.   Congruence, Integrity, non-judgment, and compassion are high on my list and I try to be more mindful of where I am in relationship to these values. And for today, I will remember that life is practice…one day at a time.