Meditation

Awake and aware

My meditation practice has changed both when sitting and when living.   I use to close my eyes and try to get rid of everything that came into my tiny window of focus. 

My new way….  

The first thing I did was open my eyes so I am aware of movement in the room and my own space in that space.  It is an out of focus eye but sharpens when someone is standing too close to my sitting (Common practice with some folks who come to the Wat and are staring at the ceiling and not watching there stepping space).  I don’t do anything but I am not shocked when they accidently step next to my leg or on my pants.

 The next thing, while I still follow my belly breath, I have opened the mind room so that my thought are sitting to a very large space.   In the larger space, the thinking or fantasy that comes to me when I am “clearing my head” (my new term for meditation) is more of a perception of what is floating about, but I am less likely to attach since the space is so vast. My process is more… mmmm look at that old thought … have not seen that in awhile, thought it had gone on to the old thoughts pile…. Interesting. 

 Sometimes when I am back on my feet and walking about in the day or on the scooter to someplace… I pull out the thought and say… what was that about and how does it relate to today.

As I have made the changes, I have confirmed my decision to avoid the trans meditation process. With little effort the big mind room has reduced the thinking significantly and I feel very comfortable and open.  People, pictures, words, smells, sounds come in… take a second or two in front of the mind camera…and then just float by…     all good.

My relationship with the pool water has changed significantly.  I see my body very differently in the water and my relationship with the experience differently.   I am relaxed.  I still get water in my nose occasionally but water is my friend and supports me.

I am grateful that I am having this experience and have come to know more parts to myself.