Happiness (sb)

       To live just in the NOW is a great shift from where I have conditioned myself to live.  Being the person that I have created from hurts and joys and events and actions of myself and others is familiar.  It this my real inner self.  The child/spirit that was created when I was born or the person that I was meant to be.   I have some fear of this openness and tend to rush back into the known, to check my computer to remind yourself who you I am. In this way…I will try to train myself to just lie still and be open to the unknown. 

     I knew this trip would be an adventure and several times I thought of not doing it… I came to get acquainted with the core of myself and know the simple present self and not the persona that I have created or hold onto for fear that there is nothing really underneath the memories, trauma, fears that I clutch.

Some very hard tasks are on my work list

·         What action, conversation, event, place … when I go there will lead to my long term happiness

So that I can act on those things that will bring long term happiness

·         What action, conversation, event, place …when I go there will lead to my long term unhappiness

              So that I can develop the strategies for recognizing the distinctions and use my experience to know what will work toward your happiness

·         I wish everyone Good Will and that I hope they find happiness.   Some may wish to hold tight to that which makes they unhappy…. That is a choice.

·         Live in the present moment.  It comes with no baggage.   I will not carry a suitcase into my tomorrow… bad enough I packed it when I did with unhappiness or happiness that is no longer present.

Recently I have been asked two questions…. Do I get angry… and am I a playful person rather than complex…..

1.       Anger….funny, someone In my life told me I was an angry person.   I spent a great deal of time on that and finally saw that there was some projection from the author.  I have passion for causes and what I think are injustices.  Now I see that what is in front of you, with no history, no past….. then there is  little to make you angry.   Anger comes with baggage.  There are many things that made me want to act in an aggressive manner… but for what?  I my present work, I am trying to take each situation, event, occurrence and see…it I want to do something about it… march in Ferguson etc.. And if not…. The time and opportunity have passed…I didn’t march and that is ok…   

2.       Playful vs Complex – I am not the village idiot but a multifaceted person with many sides to my bonny prism. I read, think, see, hear, observe, am introspective…..but in the now.  One of the first things I observed about the Dalia Lama is that he laughs a great deal.  In an interview at some time he was asked about it…. The basic stuff was most of life is just funny and when I don’t take myself seriously and try to be who I am not…I am the funniest.  

So happy smiles…..  

SUNDAY IN LAMPUN

I love the little scooter seats for the young children that ride in the front... this one is very elaborate...with a handle.

The mail must go out. This bike was at the post office but it could have been on the street... sometimes they have scooters and sometimes a bike.  Out man at home would have trouble since he is always on his phone.





I have no idea what this is for... I had to use the luv in Lampun ...so I went to a coffee shop and used the one in there... this chicken thing was staring at me as I sat... and she sat.... neither layed an egg

There appeared to be a travelling monk group,,,they ambulated outside and then came in to sit. The one in the back row had many tatoos.

I will post just some random pictures of the two Wat's that I have visited in the past two days.

the moon, the serpent, and the dove

WIRED

Sat the temple

This was on Mitch's facebook and I about fell off my stool laughing.  It is funny the comments I get ..how can you just sit... what do you think about.... etc... so thank you Mitch for a great laugh out loud... for that is often my little self shouting to my parent self...

Yesterday I went to the Wat by the gas station.  I am always impressed when Jeannine knows all the correct names.  I say... the Wat by the gas station, the road by the bank, the DaDa road, the Blue Diamond Soi.  Like learning Thai... it is only polite. At this Wat, they practice the same meditation as they do at Doi Sutep..I did not bring my white clothes so when I go to DaDa, I will buy some.











Sat and Sunday are no class, no treatment and no appointment days.  Sat, I will try to go to the Wat and do Vapassana with the others.  The leader is helpful and whenever you walk with others there is something very special.   I tried to take a movie…but need to read more before I can get it down.  In the pictures above, we are sitting and then walking.  Without the movie, hard to see the process.. but we slowly move from side to side like a giant salamander

 The internet is not great today.  I am writing and then pasting but the pictures are taking a long time.  I don’t know the story of the various animals and soldiers that guard everything.  I pretty much can guess at the Buddha story around the walls, but these are a mystery

I like this Wat.  There are many things to take a picture of and it feels old and friendly.   I think the dog was a ridgeback.  He did not move even when I walked around and then back out. - I call this black dog with feather spot

To honor my feet, I had a pedicure …funny little place over a restaurant with no business and a salon with no business.  She asked if I could pay 200bt… about $6 and then gave me a tea and a banana… all good.

Time to meditate

I will be off soon to do my funny walking sitting chanting..  I will try to get some pictures for Kay to show the family... this is a source of amusement to them.  A few pictures.   this little boy was near the ChaingMai Gate... in a cart and in the car was a Styrofoam box which he apeared to think was his ship.  As you can see,,,,he is holding the packing tape for his father.

At DaDa's cafe the other morning.. there was a man with a very pleasant face... He was by himself and was very mindful of his food.  There are many handsome folks here... but most are looking to score

I found out that my magicjack was not getting calls ...so I uninstalled the app and installed it again and it is working.. with voicemail.   I feel better knowing that I can get a message if one were needed

I went to the Market yesterday and bought two pair of pants... 230 for both  5-6 .  and so there were a few faces that struck me

 As you might know, I am not a sausage kind of person....but the shape of them just made an interesting picture...
This woman was walking about...not sure if she was a shopper or shopkeeper...  what was she thinking

qw

Thanksgiving post 2

by the way, I did these photos twice since I deleted the first batch.

This pic is for Alyssa... she is in CA with her family and I am sure she is missing her Chinese roomates at RIT who are into chicken feet.  As I was taking the shot... the owner of he dead bird was clucking like a chicken.  Since it is Thanksgiving and they are big, I think they might be turkeys.

Every once in awhile I like to do an artsy shot.  This string was hanging over the market stalls..
I am sure it has some meaning.. but I just thought is was cool.















Dragon fruit...awaiting a smoothy



















Two sweeps....new and old





And lastly.  I am sure these folks get up and are at it very early in he morning.  One thing they know how to do .....take care of themselves.   so if you are tired.....crash

Thanksgiving photo day part 1

I set as one of my MIT (Most Important Tasks) for the day to go and take 10 pictures... well .. took a few more but I enjoyed the subjects.  Also, when I was on my out and about, a woman from a CA photg club wanted to take a picture of me on the scooter with my harness.  I felt that was the least I can do since I did not ask these folks.

Henry has been taking Thai lessons so I went and signed up today.  Ann, teacher will be working me into her schedule for two afternoons a week it is located on the Sunday market road about 3-4 blocks from my bungalow.  This will be much less hazardous than last year going across he Ping at rush hour..

I do miss my Max... but when I look at some of the pooches here... I don't see a replacement.  Note the sweater.  It has been about 70 in he morning so the Thai's are freezing and thus the dogs must be cold.  Rod, the QiKong teacher has a bouncy golden retriever puppy who also has a sweater on.

I think someone in advertising
thinks that women with big lower lips and a silly smile is sexy and will make the "ladies" come in so they could look like that....  I don't think so.   you will note that the 1 hr treatment cost about $18.












There are many fast and  cheap ways to get to Pai and Chaingrai... The 170 ticket for about a 2 hr drive is just about $5.   If you go to the "big city" of Chaingrai.. you can travel VIP for $10

















When I saw this, I thought it would be a good addition  to the back yard.   It is an old mailbox.. but note the :foot.

End of first week

There is something rather goofy about getting a picture from Joe today showing the lights he so kindly put on my bushes for the house tour.  Beth will put up a wreath so I will do my community duty... but I am here half an earth away in my shorts getting ready to celebrate Thanksgiving.. and no I know there are lights on the house.
As I was sitting on the plane, I did have a moments thought what am I doing.. But as I sat tonight an ate some Pho with H&H... I am exactly where I should be..  And yes I blew up the picture to see that the feeder has 2/3 bird food.

If you know me at all, you know that I usually eat a head of cauliflower a day or every other day when I am home.   As I shift from Wegmans/Hart's/Trader Joes..frozen, canned, microwave to fresh etc.. i say farewell to my favorite veggie...Today I went accross the Ping to the S&P market to check out some things.. and what did my wonderous eye did appear.............

Ok...they are not big.. and I don't know how they taste since my paper towels, detergent, and coat hangers took up all he space... but there they were.

In February there are new people coming to Thailand who are wine drinkers.  One of the reasons I went to the market was to check out the variety.  There are four or five cases of wines... they will be fine.

Today, I left my scooter in the acupuncture place to have breakfast.  I then found out that they close, as in close the door, gate, etc from noon until 2pm... so I walked home and got my camera and then went back to get my bike...  As I walked I thought ... water water everywhere and not a drop to drink...or scooter scooter everywhere but not a one to ride.

....

Notes to myself (SB)

       After just about a week, I have had some insight as to some simple changes in perspective that can be a tool for creating a balance.  Staying with the moment to moment living is much more difficult than I thought.  When something occurs, I see the situation and player but also a bag of history that is either positive or negative.  That Judgment shades how I react and drags me in the drama or script of past conversations.  I can see this much more clearly when I replay conversations with people that I have less than pleasant history with and it is particularly true when the heat of a former encounter was intense.

        Another light bulb was that it is not easy to have a good pulse on what I  KNOW and don’t KNOW.When I am present - focused mindfully and living with compassion for myself and others… life flows and there is a true sense of living in the present moment.

        When there is a connection to others, strangers, friend, family…there is quality of loving kindness and emphatic neurons fire when we connect. 

         Delusion, speculating, clinging to the past is such a waste of time and causes the lost of a connection to the here and now.  It also can be an excuses for not living awake and alive.

         Setting boundaries is a key to taking the project out of living.  No means No… and that helps with priorities and knowledge that at any given second we are best we can be.

 

          Insufficient time is an illusion… there is always enough time to do what is important.  Focus on what is important to reduce desolation and foster equanimity.

          Without strategic renewal – meditation or pause.. we move depleted and scattered into the next situation rather than bringing our best.   It is the dust of the last encounter that fogs up the new

          Responding too quickly has created an appearance of reacting  which has led to needing to go back and repair… Writing an emails and waiting an hour before sending or send it to myself and see how it sets my reduce to eliminate the need to restep.   Restep and repair takes time from moving forward.

The plan

I put this on Facebook, but I think this is how many people see me.  Since I am wearing the "bulletproof" vest as someone asked. they really want to know who I work for and one even asked.. do you do combat photos.   The only combat I am in is that with myself.










In my dialogue my family photog... Alyssa, I said you need good frineds that will help you see your own ass.   Henry sent all three photos to me and I hope he keeps them coming.  I can see that not only do I not see my own ass... I don't see my own expressions and I look more upset and worried and whatever than I feel.... so I will share his photos and you can make your own captions.  

For the last one..One of my verbal expressions is ... I't all good... and Henry added.. are you sure to this one.....    and my (SB) expression... you take the whole package...

.

The Plan (SB)

It is only the first Tuesday that I am in Thailand and already I have said Hello to Dash at his restaurant, started my Qi Kong class, met with my dear sweet Chinese Doctor, had a two hour massage with Phat and worked out a plan for my body.  Had dinner and breakfast with H&H, dinner with the gypsy twice…. Etc.   As H&H and I sat in the garden last night, we all commented that it felt like we never left except they did come to the house in the interim.

This is the first time that I have intentionally come to Thailand with some personal goals beyond getting my teeth fixed.  I am not sure there is such a thing as a “sinner” but if there were I think my definition would be knowing what you should/need to do and not doing it.  I know that I need a strong practice to keep myself mindful, discerning, congruent and living with integrity.  I also know that I need the fortitude to live in the world and maintain my bonnyness.   So, I have come here to take some good look at my life, do the slow cleaning, and honestly face myself.  To this, there must be balance – introspection, relaxation, reflection, and for me, looking at life as a cartoon.

This balance will also be reflected in my blogging.  This blog is for me.. to help me see all the facets of my person as they fly onto the page.  I rarely edit except to spell check and only occasionally think I have gone too far.  I try not to make judgments of others and on occasion I am a little hard on myself or not as supportive and positive about what I have accomplished.   As I watch the words come down, I am seeing patterns and many things that will help me be the person I want to be all the time and not just when I am half way round the world. 

Even in this short time, I have recognized I need to step back and out but my ego or sense of “if I don’t who will…” keeps tossing the brass ring in my direction and I grab and run.   This is a journey of being very present and getting my Yes…and I mean it and it is a commitment… and No.. and I mean it and I will not waver.

This is the plan, for those that want to follow the travelogue…. I will just put up a tile and for those of you that don’t care about my soul searching and really don’t want to read about. I will put (SB) in the title… as in soap box and you can just delete my dribble.   Some of the readers are into both and I thank you..for that is me and that is my journey.

Faces at the Sunday Market 11 24

There is a machine for everything.  This is a sugar juice extractor for squeezing the juice from the cane.   The Juice then goes into a tube and into a vat.   Lordy what one will do to make $1.  I suspect it takes about 12 canes... one at a time to go through the shredder
... you don't want to look the other way...




The rest of the photos are just my shots while sitting for an hour at one location... These are a few women I thought were interesting and had a story


Go ahead...you only live once... buy it












 It is hard being this remarkable










Well maybe it is remarkable to be hard











I do my hair by putting my finger in the light socket

I can't be bothered with my hair...there are other things in life








 Where am I going ...where have I been...am I lost.









and there are also some men who were interesting

This dude is related to the man this morning.. 

I must really like this girl to be walking around in the crowd...I could be home watching soccer

 If I get the right thing maybe my wife will like me more








That would look great on me.

First Sunday photos

Joe and Henry are using a camera harness holster. If I want to, I can use a trampoline and the camera will stay close to my body.  Since I really am not concerned what I look like.. this will work for me.  Also, the lens is great.   i can't do anything close.. but when I got out, I will carry the short and wide lens. I have done this trip a few times...and each time I think..what do I bring.  The first trip, i spent hours and $ at interest cafe.  This year, I have my laptop, tablet, two phones. and a good editor.  The picture is in my mirror with no flash... I like it... and I live the harness.  Before I left I went to Rowe's and got a tether for the lens cap.  Yesterday, I was getting tangled up with the harness tether and the lens cap tether.  I was thinking.... might want to leave the lens cap home...
 Be careful what you wish for.  As I took the bike to the street when Cheryl and Candy will be staying... I heard a soft blink.. and when I looked down I saw the cap tether sliding into the street sewer hole.... bye bye lens cap. What are the chances of the cap dropping directly into the sewer hole.   i did not have a second of thought to retrieving it. After this event, I went back to the bank.  I called Summit last night and found that you can only withdraw $500 a day from an ATM.  So i paid 22,000 of the 34000 and will extract the remaining money after my class, acupuncture and breakfast and before massage.  And it is all good. With the bank under control,
This morning at breakfast and was sitting alone enjoying my own company and for a second I gave a thought to eating with someone.  When I am sitting by myself, I think...ah would it not be just sweet to be sitting with a friend..etc.  When I looked up I saw two friends haveing breakfast... mmmm we are along.

I at least was having breakfast with a strong connection to self... i think both of these women were wondering why they agreed to do this trip with each other...

to be fair, the med don't do much better.  Cell phones are the isolater and a massive plot to get people way from the here and now... The second man is waiting.. I could say waiting for Godot... but more probably the shopping wife.  He is the person there is a beer tent at the CHAF...so the men are entertained....i say...get a life and go learn about monkeys..    i S                                 

The Thai's are strong in family and generally very caring with the children. I went to the Thape Gate this morning to watch everyone setting up.  While everyone is busy you sense it is a family thing as in the baby helping to set up.  No one said.. don't touch that.

I am not sure what happened to get the little one dirty or weather it was just hot and she needed to cool off.  Big brother is watching her scream as father pours water over her.... You can imagine this is noon at the plaza in front of the Thape Gate.... it matters not that they are in the middle of setting up... just time to do the water on the baby thing.

And finally a collage taken from the same location with different focus and energy.  I really liked the helmet shot... my helmet hardly fits and has a pink dragon on it... but then my licence plate holder says kitti... must be i am a pussy cat.