Sat…75 and a month

We instinctively avoid unpleasantness, often without our awareness. When we touch something unlovely in ourselves—fear, anger, jealousy, shame, disgust—we tend to withdraw emotionally and direct our attention elsewhere. But denying how we feel, or projecting our fears and faults onto others, only drives a wedge between us and the people we yearn to be close to. - Christopher K. Germer, "Getting Along".
I love the new word blog option… so now it is time to see if pictures will go …. This was taken at the Confucius temple in the night market. I don't think I have ever been.

(Not so good… Pictures do not move from word to blog. So I will write a little and then go online to post pictures.
I went to the night market today so that I could see if I could find Blues club… it is so different during the day…

I wandered around in the back.. where they store the booths over night… I like my bottle pics. Thailand runs on energy drinks… I run on Chang..but most young boys are drinking energy drinks.

I went to where Poon had his booth… think it is a spicy food place now… I am so happy I got to meet him and his brother and get items from him. I have had a funny thing… I brought 4 flashlights… all four are done… I put batteries In the one that Joe gave me… funny… I have stuff from home so that when I feel like I am floating in space and not tethered…. I look at my family items… now I can turn the "joe" flashlight on and off and think Joe… or look there is light.
Sat is meditation day… actually I am sitting here in white… we chant forever.. I read my dharma book.. then we get walking instructions. About 10 minutes into the walk… a woman abruptly put her hand over her mouth and ran out the door. I don't do well with people getting sick..so put my head down and kept.. lifting treading touching stepping…she came back… then we sat….and then we were up to walk again This time… she fainted… and I think she might have hit her head. Most of the regulars were trying to get her awake with smelling salts… lifting …treading… touching…stepping … then… what are you doing… go home. This was after 1.5hrs of sit/walk… time to hang it up.
Sometimes when I am in a more western place, I wonder where I really am ..

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A New Way

I have just discovered I can do my writing offline and on Word. The auto spellcheck on line has caused even me to wonder what is being said. The regular readers are very generous with their patience with this. I am particularly heartfelt by my friend JoAnn who spent years proofing documents and never says….what were you talking about…she just reads with compassion.

My friend Rich who writes a blog for the home paper which has a 120 word limit says he writes and then trims until it still has content but little fluff. When I write my blog without pictures, it is just my free flow of thought and primarily written for me to see my journey. I don't reread and thus don't edit… what is is. When on line, the internet goes off and the blog goes to draft and yet I am still writing and that part gets lost…. Etc. I think this might be an easier way.

I have had company the last three nights for dinner. I always enjoy a good conversation and particularly one where we can get to know the other(s) and myself better. Many times, someone asks a question or poses and opinion that I then say…wow…never thought of it that way.

Weds night Jeannine and I wandered about and finally found a place to eat in a part of town that it appears few select to eat. My salad and pasta came in reasonable time, but her two egg frittata took long enough for them to go buy a chicken and wait for the egg. I think I am going to add…"It is what it is" to my "it's all good"…same same but different. We think alike in many ways and different in others. Best our friendship allows us to shine a little flashlight app on our dark side and I always come away know myself a little better. She has really helped me to look at how I can take better care of myself while still be compassionate and thoughtful to others. Hard for me to accept taking care of me first but I also recognize that if I am not compassionate to myself, how can I be for others?

Two interesting people have been in my QiKong class for the past two weeks and we agreed to dinner. I picked Dash's and they enjoyed the food and atmosphere. Out conversation had more to do being fiscally conservative and politically liberal and living with systems that are not compassionate. In our passage, we all have folks that are very opposite to us or who don't wonder who lives in the shack. (Note picture in yesterday's blog) On Facebook, a sociologist friend asks…can you really say you went to a country without knowing the people, culture, habits, ….and who are these people. Our conversation was about society judgment of those that struggle. They have a son that is in a struggle and would struggle more if they were not giving support. I hope they take the class next week for I enjoy having tea first thing with them.

This week, there have been several situations of miscommunication with H&H regarding eating. I feel like a beggar driving around looking for where they are so I can eat with them and this is particularly true when I am asked where I am eating. Rather than go to the drama of what did they mean…are they taking a survey or are they trying to think of how far they can go to avoid me. This was my opportunity to have compassion for myself and say …when you want to eat together and where and what time. It is important that they pick the place and time so that Hanna is most comfortable since she is never hungry and rarely enjoys the food. We are all very different and they spent much energy resolving past pains…which were horrific - one layer at a time. I am not denying or repressing anything of the past – if something comes up…how is this effecting my Now. Being a present moment person doesn't give much space for looking backwards. And it is all good.

I have been asked if I am having a good time. My time is perfect… I laugh a lot, I enjoy my own company, I am feeling healthy and I am as "happy as I make my mind up to be"…. b

a little catch up

I am working on a pattern for my life that will get some things done... but assure some creative space.

enough of that...............

As I rode down the "highway" of life today... I saw several homes like this.. and thought who are these people

who tends buffalo
walks the field and milks the cow
in the world unknown

Riderless Honda
Premium  number 9 1
Going nowhere fast.

New Week...

I have my little life into a pattern - 5 Qi Kong Classes, 2 Acupuncture sessions, 2 Thai Language Lessons, 1 Phat 2 hour therapeutic massage, 3 foot massage, 1 large Chang a day.  5 days portage with banana/mango and coconut milk - house gets cleaned Sunday or Monday - Sunday at Wawee for anthem then Italian, Sat at 1 Vipassana meditation with the group at the Wat by the gas station...usually dinner with someone... including my friend bonny... Monday night movie and whatever.
Today at QiKong... Lucky the golden retriever pup... took my sock curing class....About ready to go on with one sock...but we found it... That is the most excitement I had today...
Tomorrow, I will scoot about 30 min. out of the city to a small town the other side of Hong Dong and meet Henry and Hanna who will take a yellow songtow bus after Henry's Thai language class We are going to meet up at Jim A. house.  His wife is back form helping her family with the rice harvest and will prepare a meal for us.
Richard, the musician is back at Dash's...but he can not be hired to play... new rules with the coop.Except for police and military around... otherwise... if anything it ti quieter.
Yesterday, after my water run to Henry up the mountain... I took a 30 minutes ride to the west to Doi Saket.  I have been there before and it was hot.  I think there was a test being conducted in one of the meeting halls... it had a #2 pencil feel and I did not want to get in trouble for taking pictures.
A few things, I might be walking a half marathon on 12/20...starts at 4am///put flat.  let you know on that one...
I promise to take a day of flower pictures

Who wears things like this... well young attractive Chinese women. I am still short even though the Asian are traditionally small.. well still small but taller.  I had a massage today with a dutch couple... first thing I said was your short...5'10" is unheard of for a dutch person


The countryside was very beautiful yesterday...and same same today.  The sky is blue, fluffy clouds and few people... You can just relax once you get there.   Riding on the scooter a long way from home always brings me to "you can't just call AAA"  but worth the trip

Looking toward ChiangRai it was hazier and more clouds and mountains.  The rice crop has been harveted

 While you can say, see one see them all.  I think I could shuffle the pictures and get a pretty good idea of what Wat I might be in.  The small figures to the right we in front of a casual statue of a standing buddha.  I am not sure what the significance of the monkey and elephant are... somehing to look into.  Small alters can pack a lot of Buddha into a space... here they are stacked




I am trying to master the stacking process so I can get more photos and less white space...  the time I learn...I will be home.
                                                                                           Progress   At least the sweeper is not below the buddha's  for many the Chinese non Buddha is thoijght of as the Buddha.  He must do well during his begging time.

       

This little fellow reminded me of me.... you put on what is clean... what feels comfortable and it is only when you have he red balloon that you slightly notice that the colors and print don't match.  And I will sneak this comment in here...The family video reminded me that I am old... not getting old... but old.

Finally, I followed this scooter man for miles...i just could not resist taking a picture at a stop light

.and Peak A Boo to you.

easy photo shots

Today is meditation day.  There is a Vipassana group that meets at Wat on the Moot near the gas station.  They chant for an hour and then do two or three rounds of walking, sitting meditation.. These pictures are of my favorite Wat Chedi Luang.  It was a cloudy day but also the Kings birthday so no Chang and more people on holiday.  The Chedi is very old and large and the tree is also very old and large.

When I went to the Humung Villiage I found these hats.   The strawberry is like the one that I found a few years ago in strawberryville.  The Elephant and Panda are new.  The 2 dimention does not show the trunk... but I thnk I should buy it.

This is another "thing"everyone should have.  Atleast it does not make cherping sounds

The other night I went to the Writer's Corner for a beer... It was very dark in there so I had to step up the quality to get the feel for the place.

I realized that I had not sent any of the flower pics... so here is to you... happy day... from my heart to yours

Through the glass darkly (SB)

If I maintain a realistic view of life and all the situations it presents to me, I can take the drama and the dilemma that is encountered as a challenge for bringing out and making use of my inner resources, human capacities and potentialities.

When I think… I am rarely present.  Desire caused me to want something that might not be in my future or to recreate something that is a memory… usually distorted in my past. When I think… I create stories and then more stories missing what is in front of me…  

What I love about letting the physical experience of my journey in Thailand to be a metaphor for my life… I smile.   I think I am present… rice field, child, 7/11, river… and then I miss a part of the pavement that isn't there…and I am shaken into the present. 

There are good and bad about everything… a person faints…I can leap forward to break her fall before most realize what is happening…but I have words put forth that are in one dimension, without tone, face etc. and I can react with the same hair trigger.  

When I can cease thinking… thinking ….thinking… I can “think” with my heart and not my programmed head.

I came to Thailand to put boundaries and limits on my community activity.  I decided not to just run away and vanish but to stay very connected, involved, input, email, etc. for the first few weeks.  I set the House Tour – first weekend in Dec. as a boundary.  Not to my surprise, my community life has been unpacked…. But now I get to see it from two dimensional   and realize how different some interact with me in person, how hard it is read some mail, and how few people I really want to interact with while I am here.   And the weekend is here and time for me to step away… enter discernment and introspection.

In this way, I will try to train myself…. In quietness and stillness the listening will take care of itself without the interference of opinion, attitude and ideas.  I can still know that you are either part of the problem or the solution.  I am the problem  I am the solution.

I have eyes that can see many things that need to be examined or at least acknowledged… 1400 people and 500 newsletters… a disconnect to the poor, the neighbors, the group homes, the churches…. In saying with passion, I give the opportunity react to the messenger and not the message.    If I must have success in what I am doing, then I worship achievement … and I am not focused on what is to be achieved.

Today is long meditation day… chant, walk, sit, walk, sit …..I will walk through the door today… mindfully. 

photo day

Took a ride up the hill to see how long it would take me to get to Henry's water spot for his Sunday ride... and then kept going to the Humung village.... now I have a shirt, scarf, and waterbottle bag.. And I got my 10 pics a day...     It takes a worried boy... to be a worried man. 

I wondered where that towel went

 


Turned a corner today... much lighter.....

snakes (sb)

I feel like I am shedding skin one cell at a time while I am stepping in syrup that is sometimes sticking and sometimes waiting to be washed off.  The goo of scholar words … slides across my mind… eye… and ear as I repeat the words out loud… only to drop off while I raise to the heavens… of sing a song.    My ears are hearing much more clearly…and people are letting words fall out of their mouths that are lessons for my chewing upon.  Present moment… no expectations…. “We were disappointed” how can you ever be disappointed if you are not expecting anything. The disappointed are not disappointing.  I am seeing that we think we are someone else… and have little knowledge of who we are…    I will find you..backing up to my now

funny shape day

I walked over to the Blue Diamond with a classmate for breakfast and walked back with the camera... so here are a few shots

I liked the triangular shapes that I saw...





On yesterdays ride there were some nice shots of the city and a few dog friends.  The road is very steep but very little traffic... I love the tall trees.

The dog behind the grate was on my mornng walk... he was very intent on looking down the road.











This little guy below was eating the leaves at a very old and looked unkept Wat on the side of the hillside.








It was an easy day for me.... Tomorrow I start my Thai classes....







This is a Thai pizza over..  I have not seen it fired up but it looks like something Scott would do to roast coffee.  This was the chair that was in the pizza parlor... it is a car seat on top of an old tire.  I did not go in to try it out... but resourceful

This is not easy to see.....but I took the picture of me as reflected in the honda car that was in my traffic lane...   you can see my headlights and camera.

It is always laundry day....and always a day to remember your buddahood.

Happiness (sb)

       To live just in the NOW is a great shift from where I have conditioned myself to live.  Being the person that I have created from hurts and joys and events and actions of myself and others is familiar.  It this my real inner self.  The child/spirit that was created when I was born or the person that I was meant to be.   I have some fear of this openness and tend to rush back into the known, to check my computer to remind yourself who you I am. In this way…I will try to train myself to just lie still and be open to the unknown. 

     I knew this trip would be an adventure and several times I thought of not doing it… I came to get acquainted with the core of myself and know the simple present self and not the persona that I have created or hold onto for fear that there is nothing really underneath the memories, trauma, fears that I clutch.

Some very hard tasks are on my work list

·         What action, conversation, event, place … when I go there will lead to my long term happiness

So that I can act on those things that will bring long term happiness

·         What action, conversation, event, place …when I go there will lead to my long term unhappiness

              So that I can develop the strategies for recognizing the distinctions and use my experience to know what will work toward your happiness

·         I wish everyone Good Will and that I hope they find happiness.   Some may wish to hold tight to that which makes they unhappy…. That is a choice.

·         Live in the present moment.  It comes with no baggage.   I will not carry a suitcase into my tomorrow… bad enough I packed it when I did with unhappiness or happiness that is no longer present.

Recently I have been asked two questions…. Do I get angry… and am I a playful person rather than complex…..

1.       Anger….funny, someone In my life told me I was an angry person.   I spent a great deal of time on that and finally saw that there was some projection from the author.  I have passion for causes and what I think are injustices.  Now I see that what is in front of you, with no history, no past….. then there is  little to make you angry.   Anger comes with baggage.  There are many things that made me want to act in an aggressive manner… but for what?  I my present work, I am trying to take each situation, event, occurrence and see…it I want to do something about it… march in Ferguson etc.. And if not…. The time and opportunity have passed…I didn’t march and that is ok…   

2.       Playful vs Complex – I am not the village idiot but a multifaceted person with many sides to my bonny prism. I read, think, see, hear, observe, am introspective…..but in the now.  One of the first things I observed about the Dalia Lama is that he laughs a great deal.  In an interview at some time he was asked about it…. The basic stuff was most of life is just funny and when I don’t take myself seriously and try to be who I am not…I am the funniest.  

So happy smiles…..  

SUNDAY IN LAMPUN

I love the little scooter seats for the young children that ride in the front... this one is very elaborate...with a handle.

The mail must go out. This bike was at the post office but it could have been on the street... sometimes they have scooters and sometimes a bike.  Out man at home would have trouble since he is always on his phone.





I have no idea what this is for... I had to use the luv in Lampun ...so I went to a coffee shop and used the one in there... this chicken thing was staring at me as I sat... and she sat.... neither layed an egg

There appeared to be a travelling monk group,,,they ambulated outside and then came in to sit. The one in the back row had many tatoos.

I will post just some random pictures of the two Wat's that I have visited in the past two days.

the moon, the serpent, and the dove

WIRED