Where am I?

Tonight I scooted to a small soi going toward the airport.   At 7 PM about 12 people came into the little storefront gallery with canvas lawn chairs, picked up a small bowl of popcorn and paid for a glass of wine and watched a documentary movie about organizing peasants living by the major rivers in China to fight the development of large dams that would flood the fields and whip out the village. It was long and I did dose off....but this was a surreal experience.....

bungalow

If I come back, I think I will stay in this bungalow and write.... It is $515 a month which is not too much more than I am paying...but it is on the ground floor...AC, refrig, flat screen... near Rod... quiet....

an hour is not an hour

I had a Thai massage today that was the longest hour of my life.  When she finished, I was hoping she didn't say... was it good for you.  I can't remember the last good kiss I had...so I can't remember the last time someone said that.   I was then thinking that an hour waiting for the train to arrive with a good friend on board is much longer than the last hour you spend waiting for the train to come to take them away.  If this was my first massage, I would run out of Thailand and go to Sweden.  I had a cranial experience today before the Attila the Hun rub down.   I tried to think of everything during the experiences.  I am looking at craving and aversion... i thought I wanted a massage and now I never want another...ah....wisdom is hard to come by.   

spiritual time out

I have two weeks left in the land of smiles and here I am without teeth. I have developed a too tired to stay up in the evening and then I wake up in the middle of the night...so the blogging and emails have gotten the short change.   My morning class has been very good this week...I am getting more of an opportunity to be conscious and aware and see some mirrors re wasting energy.  Being on the fourth floor with some interruption in the wifi...also adds some distance between the thoughts and words and the screen.  To be honest..I am having to look at some of my words and deal with more reading and less practice.  You have to practice to have a practice...   I love my funny blogs...I laugh out loud with my own life and think....what a hoot this all is... but in life you have a hoots and quiet and toots and flukes and other such things.  I am feeling very healthy and eating better...I never realized how much I love fresh lettuce.  The hydroponic lettuce and freshly made dressing... mmmm  I have had more baked potatoes on this trip than I have had in years.  When I was young and living at home, when I was trying to sort out life out, I would get up in the middle of the night and bake a potato...I never a bowl of ice cream.... I wore a slicker since it kept me dry rather than a trench coat that was cool....and while I always envied the cool people and still think...what would Joyce wear...and then grab a familiar.   I am comfortable not colorful....and it is ok....
So now to the blog.   Said bye for now to H&H as then wended their way back to Victoria.... got one cap in and fitted for the rest... I was trying to count.... how many are mine with fillings and how many are mine with crowns and how many are rootless fillers attached to others etc... but who cares.... I can still chew...and this is my NOW                        

 I had dinner last night with a man from upstate who is now living in Thailand and has hooked up with a woman from Libia... The met in southern Thailand and now she is back in Libia...working without pay.  He volunteers with the lost dogs of Chiang Mai.  I am not sure how anyone knows what is a lost dog.   This little Jack Russell  or at least in the Russell family.  The boy has balls..as you can see... he is sprawled in my scooter path at high noon on a very busy soi. This was a day of appendages... not only street balls...but look at that tonged. *tried to touch it..but couldn't organized the banana and camera.

Mom and Dad were very busy with the banana's but junior was just standing off by himself.  I don't remember really looking at the long necks....
I just could not put the picture of the baby ellie lying on the cement sleeping ...with no water and no place to run...

This is the reason I went to the zoo...Dr Lek said, every time he goes..the panda are sleeping.  Well I was there at 3..feeding time.  The baby was not going to face forward and the mom was sleeping.  dad came out and ate... and then plopped....this is dad in a plop.
Never thought about flamages other than the plastic ones..but this is a very attractive bird.

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sunday buzzzzz

I started the day with muesli and yogurt and then a two hour massage with Phat.  She is so sweet and brought me a lunch pail just like her's... (a wiener and lettuce sandwich) ok it is the thought that counts.  When I left there, i felt great...but by the end of the day, my knee and rib cage was again in trauma.  I made it an easy day after the long ride on Sat.  but I did do something different. I have been riding by a spa place that said facials...so i thought... same same but different than the ones in BKK ...NOT.  The receptionist, hired for her English I am sure... suggest the wrinkle remover....give me a break woman...first, i don't have too many for someone with 3quarters of a century behind them... and second,  i have earned them... but what the heck..it will be a new experience.
Electronic collagen infusion was my first what is this.. I asked about  needles and she showed me some machine an implied no needles.   I agree to the expensive treatment which will take an hour and I am led upstairs.... shoes in a little box... and slippers    i am taken to a small room and given a
very small top to put around me with a cord.   now for this kind of money...which I will not tell you but it is more than my rent for 5 days... they should have a top that at least goes around.  In Thailand... I am one of the rotund... but when I go to the x-prisoner spa...Phat knows how to find a gown that fits.   So I put this postage stamp around me and try to tie it to strategic places with the string that they provide... Finally I just took the straps down from the bra and did the best I could to be "clothed" when the technical person comes in with a mask...she obviously could wrap the deal around her several times.  of course she had no English... so her  i am laying on a operating table with a face cloth tied about me about to be attached with some wrinkle remover machine by a masked skinny women.  Am I on SNL.....   how you do anything is how you do everything... i close my eyes and go for a scooter ride in the country... and pretend the  buzzzzzz is the engine.   She did a few things with cream and soap and water and the then slathered me and buzzed half the face until the buzzer and then the other side until the buzzer... whipped the face and said done and left the room...  Did not take me long to gather my stuff and when I went out of the room the English speaking woman was there to take the money...   where is the mirror ...she took me down a hall way to a wall mirror thinking i wanted to comb my hair...no ninny i want to see what you did to me if anything.... It was a pretty dark hall and there was a table in front of the mirror...so I just said.... detach from your face.... and go... On the way home, I found H&H having dinner and the first think Hannah said.... are you losing weight...your face looks thinner...

who are the children

At the diamond this morning, I was watching a little family, mom dad and young boy and girl eating breakfast and playing with some garden toys.  This little boy had been enjoying the double rocking horse...going back and forth.  When the breakfast arrived, Mom said come and eat.   He left the horse and came to the table.  A little Asian boy was eating and when he finished he walked over to the horses and was about to get on when the farang boy leaped to his feet and said get off or mine or some other posessive phrase.  The Thai boy  immediately backed off the was returning to his table.  He knew it wasn't his...so maybe it was the blond boys toy.
The blond boy appeared to feel since he had played with it, it was his and he owned it.....
interesting.

After my ride, I watched a little girl draw a picture. She was very intent and I am not sure if it was to be a surprise for her father or she did not want him to see it.  Mom and Dad carried on the conversation and every non and then, the girl covered her work and said something  to the Dad who put a napkin up so he was not watching her draw.  Several times, she just riped off the page and started over... I left before the drama end ...

some pics

When I took the river road and crossed the make do bridge, I ended at a lunch spot in the craft area....this is a snap of the experience.

Everyone stops at these little places even the local police.  They prepare all the fixin's for the different dishes and keep them in little dishes covered with cheese cloth.   when they take the cloth off, they give the water bag a swing to keep the flys away.  Each place tries to decorate with local art like the fan and of course there is some type of buddha and in this case the ganish.  And yes Linda, that is a squat.. where you stand holding your pants and hoping not to get yellow socks.  when you finish, you put a pail of water in the basin and it "flushes".

same same but different

The river has a name but the water is never the same so why do we call the river by name.   I use to think that there was an I and that I was, am now and will be in the future,  There is not a cell in my body that knew my father and yet I hold my father in my memory... so why do we call my I by name.  The candle is a series of wick igniting, going out and passing on the flame to the next.  The light is but quivering stimulated filament passing the illumination... it is not just a light..but light light light only in the now and always the same but different.  With each now there is an opportunity for a shift toward our purpose and not our accumulations, accomplishments, nor distractions..... so i am the same same but different.

a bowl of rice

THANK YOU

to the farmer who gives the seeds

to the rice worker who sows the bulk seed

to the rice worker who replants the seedling group

to the rice worker who weeds the field while standing in water

to the rice worker who reaps the rice

to the farmer who packs the bags

to the rice station who sorts and washes the rice

to the packer who puts the rice in the bags for market

to the driver who brings the bags to market

to the vendor who sells the rice

to the shopper who buys the rice

to the cook who steams and fries the rice

to the restaurant owner who sell be my bowl of rice for 80 cents. 

This is for brother Chris

life is either a daring adventure or nothing.(H.Keller)..  you can play it safe and be comfortable or you can take the road less traveled and learn that you can stretch your comfort zone and have an adventure that you will remember for a lifetime.  

So today I went for a ride in the country and hoped to end up in the area of the craft shops.   I started down the river road....not a highway but a decent road. the traffic was pretty light so I could stop and take some pictures...such as the rice growing on both sides of the road.

I am not sure if they have any load capacity rules, but none that I could tell.
There appeared to be a rope across the back of the truck near the bottom, but not too sure what was holding the top of the pile on to the truck.  and yes...I took the picture while rolling down the highway...  with Joe's words in my ear.... don't take risks and there is no AAA in Thailand.









You never know who is driving on these roads.  Some of the little folks look about 10.  I stopped at a 7/11 to get a water and was about to ask the driver of the next scooter if I was on the right road when I happened to not the hair cut.  He did not move a muscle just watch me walk about and take pictures.  I think his owner was buying her lunch.  Note he just sat there and when she came out...moved  back without a collar or leash and then rode  off.   You don't see this stuff at the Hyatt..

Well the road took  a turn and there was a little sign with a word that i know to be Hung...so I went that way.  more rice...smaller road...smaller road until I came to this.....note..road on this side....raod on that side...and logs across a "bridge" under construction...  There was a bike...but no driver....now what...




I guess it is universal.... the arrow...means this way...so I went to the arrow. and after a few old prayers from my grade school days..... I drove across...  Now I could be home reading a novel about an adventure...or...I could take the road less traveled.

on the street where I live

Local cheap eats...Pat's of Thailand (also my laundry)

On of the four cooking schools

O

love the numbering system

the bonny shot of the day...behind the pasta

I have been to this farm...but note...flowers everywhere

No numbers but lots of boxes and the ever present muay boxing ad

this is my today breakfast at the peppermint

There is something for everyone

Spirit houses everywhere....bringing out the spirit within.....

touching base with me

I know my last posts sounded more pensive    I don't feel sad.  I smile when  I remember watching last years academy award show on the phone with Georgette and think of my life full of adventures - mistakes, stupid decisions, accomplishments, etc.. all good...all perfect.  I write my quest thinking on here so I can look back over the 400 plus posts and see my location...physical and emotional.   I feel this morning like i was dragged behind a truck...but this too will pass.  I don't know what the 40 yrs of sadness was in my lungs..  I don't cry much... only once on this trip when I felt I had lost my focus by indulging in a couple of beers... but I feel good...here...now... and less worried about getting swallowed up when I come home...my resolve is strong....  I like being quiet in the morning..my meditation time..my qigong start...my big breakfast....even the heat, traffic and body pain from the massage....all good.

ok not so true

I had a detox massage...  not sure if anyone ever had such a think but short of the terrible experience I had with the woman I had in Rochester who beat me up...this was intense.  He works only on your kidneys, spleen, liver, lungs, heart, intestines  and bladder.  The good news... my kidney's and liver are ok.... the bad news...I have 40 years of sadness in my emotional heart that is causing me to have issues.   ok...dumping 40 yrs sounds better than putting a pig valve in my heart and then taking rat poisoning... so I have some work to do.  The interesting things is that 40 yrs is just my KH(T) time... and this trip...Jeni, time in a bottle on the sound system  all have put that time of my life in my mind....so back to the couch.
I will see him three more times... this fri and then next mon & thurs...  I must admit that when a very strong man puts his elbow into your stomach and tell you to breath in your nose and out the mouth with a whooooooo sound... and then adds relax....it is very hard to do.  I could hardly take in any air and then could hardly make a sound.  I admit I could have cried....
and I thought it would be hard to know the dark side of bonny.... just learning that I have sadness was very painful... and knowing that I am fearless and it will be done... made it easier...
guess my body has not heard....nothing is permanent.

feel a coming together

I am impressed with the progress of both my knee and my mouth.   Needless to say this fragile temp crown that is only glued to one tooth, can come out easily so that i can salt water the hole easily and it is clean and healing with no pain...just a hole.. My knee is feeling much stronger but i still can't hold my balance on one leg in class.  I am sure if I get out of my way and put my energy into a tree trunk root with the ground it will be fine. The hardest part is the mind.  Over the years while my observation consciousness has developed fairly well with the senses, my perception of what I am taking in has also grown and learned to label, categorize the raw data and put the sensations into peasant and unpleasant and then quickly react.  Oh the work that must go into making this process simple....and stay at the data level without judgement.... tree...is a tree...but if it can just be a tree without judgement, the potential and possibility is greater that I will come to know the treeness of the tree.  I am sure to most you are saying...she has gone over the edge...and they pulled our more than a tooth root and opened a brain leak...I have learned much about truth and judgement this trip.... only the tip of the process but it is a good step.  At the end of the day...is it more important that you have success or that you know who you are and what is your purpose.   Ok...I  promise a few days of pictures....and here is one of the warrior....

I had some interesting dreams

floated through several phases of my life with several different groups of people.  Think tghe pain med and penicillin is  having a boost to my spiritual effort....    bottom lime of the dreams...
you can't drag anyone down the path...they will practice or not...
without meditation, there is no path....
reading books is not a sub for doing the work.

don't think too much

I was not looking forward  to the dentist trip....knowing i was going to have a root canal....but I kept thinking..this tooth already has a root canal...and when I got to Dr. Lek...sure enough.  They were going to take out the old root canal and put in a new one....if they could.  We took a new ex-ray ..and sure enough... the end of the root canal was a sack of infection and it could not be done.  the sack had to come out.  The extractor would  be there at 5:30....could I come back... bad enough that you get set for the first round but going and coming back really raises the anxiety.    I had dinner... and drove the scooter  back to the dentist.   A very nice woman, with a degree from Germany came in... she did not look like a tooth puller...and she told me several times i am brave...  not  brave..in shock.
with this kind of a tooth.. it might crumble and we will have to cut it out.... oh great.... first a prob  root and then a problem extraction... I asked the universe to help my tooth...and it came out without much problem nor much bleeding.   ordinarily they back the tooth and have you come back but since now will need a new partial plate with two teeth on the right side i am going home...time is of the essence   I suspect my meditation might be out the window since we have until march 9 and he would like many a month.....oh well.  So she popped the temporary crown on...put cotton in my mouth...gave me penicillin  and pain meds and sent me on my way... my next apt is Monday....The best part...   a temporary cap, three dentists, three apt, an partial root canal, three ex=rays...and an extraction   $280.
and I rode the scooter home, had a baked potato and tea...and now I am off to bed.

no burgers no chang

Yesterday when I was out at a rural Wat with Cheryl...I thought about switching to this Wat for my meditation    Here you can read.  I know I could pass time if I could read..... Then I though..what if you were given the opportunity to just be for three days with nothing but you breath and your simple needs being met...walking stepping walking stepping.....breath in.....out....in ...out.  No ...no chang and only rice, water and veggie....breath in and out....the time has come...I have learned a great deal about the world and myself...interpretation and judgement....being me or making others comforable.... a need to know and a need to just be in the now...ah.......

These are some ideas for the festival.... this is a muffin like dough with different fillings... coconut, cheese etc.  the batter is poured into ege rings on a hot grill. - shopping is a very serious task and requires full concentration.... hence I don't shop.

sh

 quail eggs are cooked in a little pan and then served on a paper plate to be slipped into your mouth.....





you can also hve them deep fried.
The sushi below looks great with some shrimp and some veggie.

When I was walking home, I noted a pile of bikes and thought I am glad I am not the bike in the back....but the gent on the last bike told me it was an organized parking lot....you are given a number and then a tag goes on the bike....note the yellow tag....

sunday morning

I will do a pharmacy run today and get some sniffle stopper.  Tomorrow is phase one of the root canal...and I can not be with a runny nose.  Kim got home ok so that phase of the travel is complete.   Now if she falls off the curb in NYC...she is home.  We did very well on the scooter.   Today I will take Cheryl to one of the remote Wat's where there is a dharma talk.  I made an  apt for her to have a scrub and oil with Phat... so she will be relaxed.  Today I will try to take some photos rather than travel    snaps..This room is hot... only gets to 68-70 at night but it feels like the air just hangs in the room.   I have read about the retreat....no books, two meals, lots of sitting and walking...I am ready...

took a ride

South east of the city toward Lumphun.  It is hot...very hot...I can't drink more before dinner since I will be taking Cheryl to dinner and Joe would kill me.  The rural roads are busy but sparce.  this road had many tall trees with monk cloths which made it much cooler... it is great to have no place to go and nothing to do.....

Where do you go
                     I am making a pilgrimage  aimlessly
What is the matter of your pilgrimage?
                     I don't know
Not knowing is the most intimate...

end of phase 2

This was the last day for Kim in the land of smiles.  She surely added to the smiles..both for me and for those that she passed.  On several occasions she was asked if she was Thai.  We did this day like every other.... we got up...organized...did the hotel thing...moved her stuff to Kristi... then we were off for a 2 hr body scrub and oil... The Ellie on our bodies were the only thing not scrubbed and unfortunately I was back to the regular underwear...(phat said don't even bother...but as bad as it is to have a bandage when you need a sling...i wore it..and now talk higher)..
I will help Cheryl arrange a time with Phat.  she is such a very nice woman...and i trust her with my bare essentials.








we then jumped on the scooter....raced to the base of the hill for the Doi suthep and found a songtow to take us up... we wondered about for an hour...putting a Kim bell on the wall and I booked a 3 day retreat for march 4-5-6. another new adventure for me. There are always choices and we probably should have had more time...but we did what was important... I actually thought the massage would be 1.5 hrs... and it was 2.








 We then sped home as fast as the traffic would permit..Kim showered and she was off in a tuk.

What was very funny for me was to watch the scooter man taking a look at the hot chick in the back of the tuk.....and life goes on....and where will be Kim's next venture.

As for me... I went back to bonny...checked in for the night at the unaircon kristi...for $9 a night and had dinner with Jeannine ...ran into H&H and ended the evening enjoying a very rich dessert...and life goes on



It is now after 10...had my morning scare myself with..thinking I lost my camera until i remembered putting it in the cupboard....i will organize my stuff and spend the day being easy.  i was going to take a long ride..but need some sleep and to kick the cold that is trying to crow in my head...not bad...but I want it gone before root canal on Monday...   I will have dinner with Cheryl...something we rarely do and well will both be without our companions... so  same same...but different.

a little catch up

When you try to put a country into 13 days and travel to three cities... it is a bit frantic.. but I think we managed to take some time to spend more time doing some things that will last in us for awhile.  not sure I helped Kim meditate more...but it did not take responsibility for the reminder... which is great for me.  It is strange this year...with the fall and the burning of the fields in Burma happening.  The leaves are falling on the ground at the Nest.  Sorry to say, the little old man, while still alive is now senile and can not remember if he ate breakfast.   I think the nephew is now doing the pick up and they have two goats to do the grass mowing.... and life goes on.

When we walked to the stupa at the top of the hill, the young monks were carrying a motor up the 500 steps....just think of getting the stuff up there. They would get to a rest stop and flop like I would..the one extra guy carried the robes.

When we got to the top....I felt this Guinea hen was looking at me as if I was an evil spirit.  I must admit that I put the walking stick between me and the beak.  He was the hall monitor you did not want to cross.....

of course...the trip to the top is always worth the walk... There is a cave under the stuppa and it has many Buddhas and a memorial to the founding monk.    and the walk is not back since you have much to read.

and when you get to the bottom of the hill....I the non vegan treated myself to a dragon fruit cheese cake.... with a drizzle of dragon sauce and a dollop of whipped cream....hey someone has to eat this...







I wanted to go back to the yard statue.... it is 6 feet tall and bronze.  i tapped it yesterday and I think it is hollow... I suspect around 300 pounds.   It will be shipped to Buffalo in several months and I will have to uhaul it to the house... i have a good marble stab that I will plant and then set this on ....

happy bonny

a little time to catch up

We have covered the city to the interior in 10 days stopping for many massages, dresses, statues, tuks, songtow, plane, train etc... but to end the 12 days at the nest is always the best.  Yesterday we had a 2 hr massage with 1.5 hours of Thai and 1/2 hr of hot herbs... Of course I will never get use to laying on a mat near the pool with no shirt on but that is Sr. Mary somebodies words locked in my head.  We walked up to the Wat on the hill...had breakfast, lunch and dinner and just were easy.   We had dinner  both nites at the Nest 2.    You would hardly recognize the place...a new kitchen...with 6 burners and oh is not having to cook.  both nights were crowded...she has 9 beds and now the restaurant is up over the new kitchen with a fire pit and beautiful place for morning food.  You can tell the folks that have not been here...they are standing around with there  mouth open listening to the birds in the woods.  I hope someone can tell Marti...there are no roosters.  Oh I think of all of us walking the road...and Dan and Ellen and Marti and Liz and enjoying the beer on the porch...that was the most vivid time for me in Thailand... probably the first time is always important.   Also talking with Jodi about taking us up with the elephants...they did not do that very long.... so special....sweet comes to mind.
This will be Kim's last full day in Thailand...she will fly out tomorrow and then home.  I hope that this has given her a time to step out and assess.  Time will tell...but I did my best to lay it at her feet...

it would be very tempting to tie her up and keep her...she is a very nice addition to my trip...but she needs to go home and see if she can keep centered and I need to do my work...and nothing is perminant.

here it is

this is it.....it is just below my wrtist on my left arm

We went to a little shack at the  ENP....with Jody and her son and my four companions looking on. Did it hurt......well i can not tell a lie...it was not a walk in a park....but I am glad I did it.... here we were sitting on a little stool in the middle of the elephant range...in a hut with limited lighting getting a tink.....surreal is hardly the word......

elephants

I will not say to  much.... but first we going and then we weren't going....someone (bonny) had the days mixed and we should have been here yesterday.... oh no... so no room in the inn....and Cheryl offered to go back and let Kim stay...or we could bunk in with them etc..but at the end of the day we are at the enp the songtow is coming tomorrow and we will be at the nest for two night....so here are some pics.

leaving CM

Yesterday was cooking class day, sunday market, dress fitting, and massage day.... It is getting warmer and I still don't have a room for when Kim leaves...but it will work out...

another scooting day

First a little clarification about the statue....I think it is about 5feet tall and it is bronze...I am having it shipped to  Buffalo and then will pick it up in a uhaul and bring him home... will need some real muscle to get it in and located.   I am not sure of the wt...but it is 15000 ($500) to ship.

Yesterday we had to do a market run for towels...so here are a few pics.  I thought the one at the top was interesting...like two buddies having a conversation at work...just different place.  The one at the bottom is a picture of an old picture.of the layoutof the market... you can rather see the river at the top... 

after we went to the dress fitting...then a wat where Kim was interviewed and then the dentist and dinner with a friend.... good day.. and of course...a massage..