Observe the wonders as they occur around you. Don’t claim
them. Feel the artistry moving through, and be silent – Rumi
I have begun to
try and cull out a Day of Silence. As
my day of fast, it must start in the evening of one day and end the evening of
the next of it could not be done. My
original plan was to take Monday, but then my massage was moved, and the sketch
school and sketch group pushed the acupuncture from Tues to Monday. I had hoped to make it a consistent day. The reality of connections, expectations, and commitments
has made it so that I must review the week carefully and put in my day to accommodate
other schedule demands. I have missed a
few weeks.
When I return home, I will start with two
days a month, the first and third Monday and see how that goes. I will commit to that but Dr, dog, Jim, etc.
might require some flexibility. My
alternative will be a full day within the designated week.
I grew up in a silent
house. At the time, I thought my mother
was weird. Everyone else that I knew
lived in a noisy house – kids yelling, radio/tv blasting, etc. In our house there was my mom and I – not even
a cat. We had little to say to each
other most of the time and had very little interest in common. If it were not raining, I was outside when
the sun was shining or later did not come home from school or college until
late. Mom had some commitments – Girl Scouts,
her friends, craft things and when my Dad still worked, helping him. She did all the household stuff – cooking,
laundry, cleaning – all I had to do was stay out of the way and take care of
myself.
I learned in High
School that I could not concentrate with the radio on in the background – so sound
was left to folding clothes, cleaning a drawer, etc.
When I was a pre-teen,
I loved to walk to the river and just watch the water, sky, boats or trains go
by. When I was at my aunt/uncle’s
cottage in Canada, I would sit for hours and watch headlights come at me.
I was never a reader. Everyone in the family and extended family
was into books. They could sit for
hours and read. My Mom was also a
knitter and could watch a little tv at night and knit.
When did we lose
the joy of just sitting and our tolerance for quiet?
The first thing
folks ask me when I say I am going to Thailand by myself…. won’t you be
lonely. What will you do when there is
nothing to do? I have always been able
to get someone to talk to me…simple, just ask them about themselves… Most will
go on for hours but only a few will return the question and ask about you. Getting connected is easy. Getting connected to someone you want to know
more about and share some of yourself with, not so easy.
Most people appear
to not want to be alone with themselves…. hence lone-li-ness and thus the fear
of solitude.
I hope when I go
home and have my two days, there will be no clock so that I eat when hungry,
the meal I am hungry for, go to bed when tired and get up when rested.
I can’t write….
take a photo that has meaning… or draw when my mind needs to think of words. Even
meaningless chatter to accommodate someone else wondering what you are doing,
and can you fill my space with chatter so I don’t have to just be.
I will end my quiet
day soon. I did go to acupuncture, stop
at the art store, take some pictures at a Wat and answer two short emails and a text,
but it was my day… happy bonny
