Dinner Reflections

REFLECTIONS I posted on FB this past Wednesday that I sat next to a Republican etc.  I have taken a few days to push that around in my spirit to see what it was about.  Every time something unexpected is tossed in my way, I find that I revert to my patterned life.  In this case, I feel hostile and want him just to go away.  When he doesn’t, I use barbs to send angry dots at him.  The only way for me to get clarity regarding the learning lessons is to sit down and watch the movie.  Then watch it again with several editors – horror films director – he will be dead in the end, Meg Ryan early movies director – I will be loving, and the best bonny director- what would my best bonny do in this situation.

I had to watch the movie several times and particularly note the scene.   Many of the small tables for one or two were with “reservation” signs and that left very few options.  There was a nice looking 60 yr old man with a Thai woman and an English speaking older couple with the woman looking like she had gotten there early for happy hour (1/2 wine).  I chose the mixed couple and best they were on my deaf side, I had my book, and I was hungry and not intending to stay for the jazz/blues Wed night.

I sat, the waitress – “mickey mouse” knows my name and quickly came, took the order and I had my glass of wine, fresh bread with oil.  Before I could pick up my book, the man next to me had his hand on my book and off the table with “can I look at your book” and was glancing at the back cover.  As he read, his wife ( he later informed me he married the Thai girl three years ago and I will note she calls him Papa) asked what it was about.  His reply – “it is a self-help book about spirituality.”  Mmmm that was the beginning of the slippery slope.  

I turned the book over to look what was on the back cover…. “what home is supposed to be – a place that revives and nurtures you, welcomes you back each day, and invites visitors to return”…    I did not get out of my defensive self just to say….ok .. I guess you could call it a self-help spiritual book.  It is one of my favorite books right up there with Don’t Push the River and the Razor’s Edge.  I also know from Kim O that she is a vegan cook and I have purchased several of her cookbooks -Love Yourself Thin.

Ok, I could feel a small piece of ember in the gut which became a flame when he added that stuff is ok as long as you hold your Christian values.  “I am a Buddhist”… that is ok same as Christian…   “Buddha was before Christ”….  There were several more instructional comments and I began to think does he want me to call him PaPa…. But I added…  “You probably voted for Trump and don’t believe in climate change” (please bring my food)… all the time I am having to turn and face him since he was on my deaf side.   I am a life-long Republican (from Minnesota) and they have debunked the climate stuff.  He didn’t have a red hat…. But short of chewing off a foot… I needed to separate myself.  

The food came.

I centered on the old OA tactics of becoming totally aware of eating.   Up he popped…. How is your stew?  My beef was a little fatty and chewy and I was thinking of ordering the special next time.  “Next time do that…. But you will be given what you are to eat – good or bad…  Finally he realized that I did not think he was brilliant and was not interested in sharing dinner with him just because our seats were inches apart.  There were several more comments and I found my mindful eating was focused on finishing and getting out of the place.  

I will carefully select my seat and might ask to sit at the end of the bar… or just not eat.    

Whew.. feel better.

last of out of town

The trip home was much faster but the bus was full with China bike riders.  Amazing how much stuff they can get under the bus

bye bye historical park

hello bus - I don't think of corn on the cob as bus snack food, but whatever floats your boat and fills your bike pants'

This is the bike group at the rest stop

Chinese ate noodles

Farang ate ice cream

and which way to the toilet

Many of the toilets also have a western seat with no plumbing... you use a bucket of water to flush

She is attached to the ice cream eater






As we were waiting to get back on the bus,  one of the passenges had to find his backpack which lucky for him was not behind the bikes.  



He was on a mission to shave.

This is the small luggage compartment .. not a mirrow location.

Sukhothai number 2

DAY ONE  This was a day to give pause.  Can I believe that I went to a historic site without the big camera?  I did take a few photos on the phone which I posted on facebook, but sending them and getting them etc. is a bit of pain.   My travel companion scouted out a particularly nice site and was kind enough to return there the next day with me before we went off the next site.

Almost any place you could look you would see the pillars and some stone wall of a something that once was there.  The grounds were magnificently maintained. There were people clearing, mowing, and sweeping so that you were tempted to just go lay down next to the tree.

This area would have had some type of a covered meeting hall before the Buddha hall.  There are tunnels and passageways in the wall  around the building.  Many documents were found that that gave an idea of the kingdom at that time.

 I had to take several shots of the face, not to get it in focused but to not have a bird flying around the nose or eye.  If you look you can see a pigeon on the eyebrow to the right.  Most of the statues in the area have a narrow head and smaller lips like the lanna Buddha.

The hand of the Buddha was very detailed.  This is a common pose of the Buddha had and Bonnie thought it was the model for all the take home art you see at the markets.  The curve of the fingers is very much like the Thai dance hand.

The lotus grows best in pretty dirty water.  I have no idea if it smells nice but the water does not smell pleasant.  If you go in the afternoon, the flower will be closed.

Sukhothai Dawn of Happiness part 1

BACKGROUND   The area was the capital of Thailand for 120 yrs. and there is much respect for the twin cities of Sukhothai and Si Satchanalai which are now well-maintained ruins as a historical site.  The area is about 427 kilometers from Bangkok and 250 from Chaing Mai.  If you really want to “do” the area you will need more time that two full days.   There are two major areas of Si Satchanalai, I only visited one, and there are ancient kilns and several forests that could be hiked.   I will break my blog into several parts, so I am not exhausted writing and if you are following, you are not exhausted reading.

MY PATH   “Anything that inspires us to see what is true and do what is good is proper practice.”  Ajahn Chah  There was a good opportunity on the 50+ kilometer ride out to Si Satchanalai to have some time to reflect on Christmas.   Growing up Catholic and in a home lead by a father that saw most social time as a time to do things in an orderly manner.  Spontaneous and fun were not on the top of the list but get the breakfast over, make the dressing, stuff the turkey, etc..and then around noon to one, open the presents, clean up the room, put the gifts back under the tree in an orderly manner.  In the early years, there were too much and in the later years according to father, there was too little, and it was sad.  At around three or four a relative would come, and we would eat at 5:30.  Clean up, and Christmas was over.  Today I would like to think that this is the season to focus on the practice of generosity, consideration, kindness, and mutual regard.  Many times along the way, I was reminded that being more mindful of what is happening to me and about me is why I am on the Thai journey.

THE TRIP PATH There is no short cut way to get from here to there.  You board a bus, 2^nd class on the way down and better on the way home.   The bus down turned into a local bus as we got closer to the area and stopped at telephone poles to drop off packages or people.   The bus driver ate most of the way and when not eating honked at anything that was in in front of us.   There was a woman attendant that sat on a trash can the entire way.  It was here job to get people on and off.  While the bus took 7 hrs we only stopped briefly for squat toilet breaks.

I traveled to the area with the "other" Bonnie that I met at the Kristi house several trips ago.  We sat in the first seat so I had a view of the rear view mirror and the drivers station 

with his pencil holder and food bag.

The assistant sat on the metal trash can for 250+ Kilometers

There was a soda bottle

and some artifacts honoring Buddha that made the bus trip appear safe

SIMPLE LIVING - CHOICES - PRIORITIES

SIMPLE LIVING I am putting a little pencil mark on everything that I brought with me and that I have used.  When the time has come to return, this will tell me how much stuff I thought I needed that I did not need.  One thing that I always bring is a washcloth.  Like top sheets o a bed, Thailand sells them, but they are not part of the room (towels and hand towels but no face cloth).  I went to the Airport Plaza to get the sleeping mat and found a desk lamp and a facecloth.  Picture below.   In my reading I came across a great definition of living simply….having everything you need with the bonus of being able to find it.  If there were a place for my Thai stuff other than in that drawer, that box, that bag and a few other places, I would be here with my $80 air mattress that is in a box in my office and one of my home facecloths that are rolled in the bathroom

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CHOICES  I sense I am getting closer to living the way I want to live since I am more aware of not living the way I want to live.   In my exploration of clutter, I am finding that when I am at my most calm is when I am free.  My sense is that freedom is being able to choose what you want to have, do and whom you want to be spending time with, etc.  The only way to have that is not to let in everything that shows up.  On my list of items to consider while meditating is why I feel sorry when I am not included in activities that involve people, places and things that cause me to consider chewing off a foot to be out of the situation.  I am sure it has some relation to my youth, but from a distance, it appears very silly.  When you are in a “relationship” you often have to do more give and take.  In friendships, you really are only obligated to be present.

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PRIORITIES  I have been trying to start my day with identifying my MIT – the 3 most important things to accomplish for the day.  I keep it simple.   I also have a list of important things in my life or things I want to do on a regular basis….exercise, healthy eating, meditation, time with people I enjoy, pursuing my passion.  I have noticed that almost anything can take precedence over the things that are important to me.  The top of my list is Pay Attention, Be Awake, Be Alive.  This morning I jumped out of bed and realized I did not have underwear for four days…. Poof…. Out the window, exercise, and meditation.

Today ends a string of days with physical commitments.. dental, cold, massage etc. and tomorrow I leave for Sukhothai ... and a promise of less talk and more photos

SMALL CHANGE – When I went shopping for the mattress topper or an air mattress it was after a night of feeling I had been dragged behind a chariot in a B movie.   Everything hurt and particularly the hard less fat covered places that hit the Thai mattress when I roll to a side. I got up saying the old poem – there was a crooked man that walked a crooked mile.  I caught the C-shape Bonny in the and thought what are you doing in Asia and can you even get on the scooter.   I was desperate. So off I went to the Thai version of Bed and Beyond and found a fancy Topper for 4990 bhat ($145) which is only $9 less than the cost of the room.  Amazingly I was able to say there must be another answer and moved to the sporting goods store only to find they don’t carry air mattress but a 20 mil foam fold up.   This is hardly the thing you would take to climb a mountain.  I unfolded it and rested my head on the partially opened mat that I had placed on a stack of sneaker boxes.  For 620 ($18) it was worth a try.  Now every day I get up and say, no home, but I just slept 8 hrs with only one bathroom trip.   Amazing what a small change can make. 

The bed softener

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SHELTER FOR THE SPIRIT – I am a card carrying member of BBA Book Buyers Anonymous.  There are many good bookstores in the area – used, very used, new, and to swap.  I can’t leave home without having a few books in my bag.  When you have a 50 pound limit for all your essentials for 100 days, you have to think about packing paper.  I sat in my library and held each book and said… would I read this.  Would this give me joy to have with me, etc.  I selected Toni Packer’s The Work of this Moment, Joan Tollifson’s Awake in the Heartland (last year is was her Bare to the Bones), Dynamic Way of Meditation -a Vipassana book by Dhiravamsa (Thai), and Shelter for the Spirit by Victoria Moran.  I purchased this book several years ago and read it to a dog-eared level with many different shades of ink as underlines and notes.  In preparing to leave my house, I looked at the rugs rolled up and what felt like a lack of joy.  It has become that has accommodated four animals with issues and has created a lack of spirited shelter for the mortgage payer.  I love this book and what it does to my head as I go through each room, nook and corner and picking up items and saying.. does this give me joy.   I am sure by the time I get home I will have a list of things to change and cherish.   I also decided that this would be my shelter for the next many days… what would give my spirit joy… a teapot, a comfortable mug, a reading lamp and as in the last snipit.. a non-uncomfortable bed.

The Road Less Traveled

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DAY OFF Yesterday, except for Hannah’s birthday dinner with Nel and Henry and Harry, I was free just to do things.   I joined the gym across the street from my lodging for 2000 bhat ($57) for 3 months. Trainer Doug would be pleased, there are steps and kettle balls, and places for me to my walk and use the flex cords I brought with me.  [Note: my legs feel better than they did the first year I came to Thailand], I had a slow breakfast at Better than Butter, checked out the bus schedule for Sukothai and enjoyed a leisurely cup of tea.  Jasmena introduced me to the Monsoon Teahouse which is featured in this month’s City Life.  The Spaniard, who was in the tea business in Madrid discovered large tea trees in the area around DoiSutep and started this lovely tea shop.  Not cheap tea, but the flavor is bright and crisp.   When the water is added, you don’t have old leaves in the water, you have a refreshing treat for your nose and palate.  I am happy that the tea will find a home in my handmade teapot to sparkle my morning.  Today is the first day of the new crown and tomorrow my deep cleaning with some bone repair.  Not a day off.

Thursday Dec 15 - broke

I really need to rethink my banking.  It is time to go to the Bangkok Bank and transfer money.   I thought it was all corrected but today Card Cancelled.   I will talk again with the bank at 8:30.  This is more of a reminder to myself.

I have been fighting a cold and of course not getting a full nights sleep.   Today I had my first massage.  I have a set Thursday massage with Phat and so I used my funds to complete my appointment

The market that is near my place is very clean and organized.  There is even music playing. There is a curb appeal that is often not the case in Thailand.









You forget how good ripe and freshly prepared pineapple is.   Like this woman, there is a skill to cutting a pineapple and only leaving the eyes behind.  She was very intent and while she knew I was taking a photo said nothing bu just cut up the pineapple and put it in a tray for sale.

This is a papaya salad to go.   It was interesting to see that they occasionally put a crab into the mix.  A small crab but with all the legs etc.  A man who was fluid in English told me that is a Chinese custom and it gives him indigestion

It is common to use banana leaves to roll the food for easy transport

There is a skill to packaging food in plastic bags with air inside.. Folks rush in grab and go.  

The smoothies are mixed after you buy them.   They add whatever liquid.. coconut water, milk etc. and then mix and toss in a straw.    All very efficient and stop and go.

A broken clock - an opportunity to watch yourself

I got into bed around 11 Monday night and thought a few sprays of melatonin would send me to la la land. It did, but then my broken international clocks got me up around 2 AM, and I was ready to start the day. “it was the time before daybreak, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring except me.” 

I was up and out to get breakfast and my scooter by 8:30. A long walk and when you walk alone and are not distracted by the conversation you observe more.  My ability to just watch without judgment and comment is getting there. I am listening to the tones of the sounds, and you can tell a 2 cylinder from a 4 scooter when you listen.  That doesn't matter but the discernment development is. I have the technique I now just need to develop the application to improve my listening skills.  Realizing that I often talk because I can’t hear, I require more one on one and fewer group experiences.

After the walk, it was not long before I began to realize that I was tired because I felt that everything appeared to have a flaw.  

They didn’t bring my 2^nd cup of coffee (they did when I was staring into space) 

The bank goofed, and my card is not working (I then remembered that you can’t take out more than $500 in 24 hrs.)  My first month of lodging with the deposit was about 300 and my three months of a scooter with deposit about $320.  Mr. Jaguar took my passport and let me pay about $75 until tomorrow.  We have known each other for four years...but very Thai to do that. 

Thank you, JoAnn, for the Thai money… it provided a great resource when I needed it.   

I have never been a napper, but I needed a nap.  Rather than tough it out… I went down for an hour.

This all was a good lesson…pay attention, check in with yourself…  I have added the look and listen to the pause.  Stop/Pause…and pay attention.

I ended the day with Indian dinner with H&H, connecting with Bonnie and Jume and swimming teacher Fred…found a gym across from where I am living that will charge me $75 for three months.

And it is all good 

up at 3am yesterday and still going at midnight next day

China Southern Air was shorter than the other trips 15 hr from NYC to China....but glad I had my slippers and water bottle.   The Indian veggie was very good.  NYC/JFK is what it is..and not the best but it is what we offer.   Change everything, take away Air Tran and don't have anyone helping you i  The connection in China was tight and I had to run after an airlines person.   no golf cart for me... when I got to the gate, I was sweating.  Made the plan and luggage got here.

I did not think about toilet paper and soap..so will be a "camper" tonight and tend to my needs tomorrow.









What does a $154 a month room look like...   This is the wardrobe
I don't bring tons of stuff  The white deal is my laundry bag.

below is the desk area.  The wifi is muh better and while there is not a flat screen the picture is adequate and I can get more news than Fox

The box under the desk was delivered by Henry from teacher Fred and had my helmet and tea suff.

You just step out on to the porch and then into the spacious luv

I am in the room at the top of the stairs... 2nd floor

happy bonnhy