For months I have carried a little pad for sketching about what is in my physical eye space and jot notes about what appears in my mind's eye. I had planned to translate the two collections of dots and lines into something coherent to put on the blog. After #800 I wondered what more there was to say so the motivation has not been as urgent as in the past. (I must write… someone must read this)
In looking at the notes, I realized that this had not been easy times for me since my body has had somewhat of a “mind/voice” of its own and has been pounding on my chest to get my attention. In addition, I began the process of trying to encourage my legs to keep walking despite my past abuse via the plasma and stem cell injections which leave me with ice packs for a day. It is not just a one-day deal and I must be very mindful so that I am not disturbing the little cells trying to work magic in my aging body to build and strengthen the cartilage. My heart pounding need me to walk and my cell growing needs me to walk mindfully (no twisting etc.) Just walking has become a “project” and I hate “projects”.
Also, while on retreat, having had some recharging of my inner gifts of sight/vision, I reaffirmed my commitment to be of service to others walking through life. The first time around, when I first saw aura’s and pain in people passing by around my 40th birthday, I was not able to step outside and remain neutral. I wanted to fix everything and everyone. Almost drove me crazy since there was so much to see and feel and I begged for relief from the gift. – be careful what you wish for.
I was a bit surprised to have the “gift” return near the end of my practice at Chom Tong. Then I found it is not unusual after the work of meditation to see aura’s etc. So today I find my chest beating rapidly and my mind's eye sees more. I know that I am called to make some passersby have a more clear vision of who they are and what they can give to the universe so they may have a more meaningful journey and complete their work.
Funny to be in Thailand where I can say only a few words… but I have felt a connection of souls with a few people as we have exchanged eye contact. One woman on the street., I could see she struggled with a sick child at home. We made eye contact for a few minutes and I smiled and she bowed and came forward and touched the bottom of my shirt…..so who knows. I added her to my growing list of people on my Metta lists to share the merit of my practice.
I will put more notes on the blog shortly.
