SELF RESPECT
Self-respect is not the same as self-confidence, self-esteem nor is it a creation of ego. Self-respect comes from confronting your weakness and coming through morally dependable. After that survival, during the next Big Life Crisis, you just know you will end on your feet.
It is not something you are born with but something that is earned. When you are on the other side of something that you didn’t think, you could endure, and you are bloody and beaten, but you kept on your path, took the high road even with everything and everyone saying compromise. Then you know you have self-respect, and there is no such thing as peace at any price. The price maybe your very soul.
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I am listening to Big Band music on Jazz at Lincoln Center It has been a flashback memory lane for me on this the eve of the seventy-seventh anniversary of the day of my birth. They played my father’s favor gospel song and several swing tunes that I danced to at the Summer Big Band era at Crystal Beach. The quality of the musicians is always outstanding, and they are so young and never heard the big bands. The only issue, the seating does not lean itself to dancing in the aisle. And what happened to Paul Zilliox who danced me down many a dance floor aisle but not the church aisle.
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I have spent the past several days and will spend the next several days in a reflective mode with more meditation time and spiritual thought and fewer people connection, also, I am just finishing a 25 day stretch of limit calories, so I can get the weight on my knees to a manageable level. Please with the outcome but must admit, I am looking forward to an omelet tomorrow. From both the absence of food and people, I have concluded, I am ok with the lack of both. First, the extraneous people often take my energy and the more inward I go, the less I need the chatter and banter. I don’t have the same feeling about food. I miss a glass of wine and my popcorn.
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Five weeks from tonight, I will be checking to see that everything I want in Asia is in the bag and I am ready for the 22hr flying time. This is the first blog of the year. I think this will be my style for awhile at least.
