test blog and an a-fair to remember

This is my test blog for the trip. I have always loved rural fairs and last night was not exception. The Dutchess County Fair is one of the largest county fairs in the county and I think most of the people from a 1000 mile area also heard about the fair and attended. When and where else can you see the country singer from Dancing with the stars and bejeweled NYC folks mingling. Some young man in a bathing suit climbed a 150+feet pole and jumped into something that was unseen from where I was standing. There was an older couple trying to sell jam with not much luck and a booth full of young men hawking jerky. The young woman with a well filled halter top was doing well promoting soft bristle floor sweeper. You are pretty sure that many of the young men buying the product will put it in the back of the closet. Most of my attention was to the live stock area. This was dress your sheep in something. The natural was this 6yr old who was the the proud granddaughter of the woman next to me on the bench. This was her first year in the sheep business and I almost was very up close and personal to the action since she could not control the criter. The others were dressed in tights, as UPS boxes etc.. it is a very patient lamb that can put up with this stuff...

I have always thought sheep were dumb and smelly. Pigs are smart..and ok they smell a little....but cows.. there is an interesting animal. There was a woman sitting the barn drawing the cows as if it were the Grand Canyon. She did not look up or down but just scetched away. I didn't think it was a great likeness to bossie.. but the woman appeared very pleased. A little way down from her was a young girl sitting with her cows and talking on the cell phone. Shortly after a young man came along and crawled in next to her and put his arm around her. The cow was taking notes and it looked like the cow on the ground and the one standing were having a discussion about. - this must be a new version of "rollingin the hay". Like the artist...this couple really did not care if folks were there or not.
While the sheep dressup was going on, the cows were being judged. Georgette noted that some of the cows had their hair in a punk much like this young handler. The Mohawk appears to be back in a vengeance and I think one might buy stock in the gel products that are needed to get the hair up their and to stay. All and all, I had a good time at the fair. Lucky for me G has a handicap sticker so we got to drive almost to the gate. It is amazing how many folks attend the fair. I saw many eating, and a few riding the rides and some crazy young man who climbed a large pole and then jumped into something. I did not see what it was but since there was no shriek from the crowd, I guess he made it. Note no picture of that... I did get a snap, but it could be a large towel and you had to be there to see that it was some crazy many waving his arms.. so this is the end of the first patch blog. I found that I can patch the text form the word doc but I have to put the pictures in manually... next time bigger pics. bye for now.

Best Year Yet

In 2003, I started a program to help me set some direction to my life. Georgiana and I traveled to the hills of North Carolina and worked on a plan to have the Best Year Yet. While the plan for the year has often taken detours, it is a way for me to take a inventory and set some general directions. The monthly version of the plan gets more specific – dates, numbers, specific targets etc. so that it becomes much more action and less just words on a page. To develop the plan, I take a short look back at accomplishments, disappointments, and what did I learn and then move forward to guidelines, awareness of how I limit myself, personal values, top 10 roles, top 10 personal goals and how can I support myself to assure achievement. (www.bestyearyet.com)
As the years have gone by and I look back on my BYY, slowly I shifted toward myself rather than "world peace". In this past year, I have recognized that I can only change me and can hardly make a dent in my community or world by going out and trying to make significant changes. I can live my life and maybe I will be an example or not. I also recognized that I needed to make some significant changes in the focus of my life. I am not happy in my surroundings and in what I am doing as I live my life. I don't like the word retire and am replacing it with retrying... Without the constraints of the "9-5", I am freer to pay attention and show up for my own life. The back burner has only so much fuel and I don’t want to waste a minute of it doing things that don’t feel good while doing them. I had an "ah moment" when putting the word support into my thinking. It was always there when I had my awareness and mindfulness persona in gear, but the “support” has been the missing link. Does whatever I am doing support me, make me more ready and able to live life, is not distracting or draining my energy away from my life experience and purpose. It was easy to give up drinking to much when I said.. I don’t like how I feel in the morning. It makes doing dishes easy.... does leaving the dish make me feel good.. does finding the dirty dishes later add to my life joy... easy answer. I have enjoyed the working zen practice. I am happy tending to the daily life needs at a retreat. I get into scrubbing the refrigerator grates, I am happy, take joy in the task and the product. When I leave a retreat, I am firm about living this life forever until the first rest stop. Life is always so simple. Rather than bringing my life to the monastery, just bring the practice to the home. I have a refrigerator, knock yourself out. The difference is my feeling that this will support my life. I will have joy looking in the refrigerator. Do everything in a zen way. I did not need a paradigm change as much as a few words in my conscious awareness... Does whatever or whoever support me... and if not, just drop it.. ..
So the following is my

BEST YEAR YET

August 15, 2009-2010

• GUIDELINES
  
  LET GO AND LIVE AWAKE AND AWARE
  ENJOY THE RIDESTAY FIRMLY IN TOUCH WITH MYSELF
  
  
  NEW PARADIGM or VISION
  
  I AM MY OWN BEST FRIEND - I AM WILL SUPPORT MYSELF
  
  
  MAJOR FOCUS
  
  BONNY'S BUDDY
  
  TOP TEN GOALS

TO DIVERSIFY MY LEARNING BY FOLLOWING MY INTEREST

TO LIVE SUPPORTED – IF IT DOESN’T SUPPORT – DROP IT

TO REMAIN AWAKE AND AWARE OF MY NEEDS

TO PROVIDE MYSELF WITH QUALITY TIME

TO ESTABLISH A PERSONAL PRACTICE THE SUPPORT

TO HAVE REGULAR POSITIVE CONTACT WITH PEOPLE AND PLACES THAT SUPPORT

TO RELEASE PERSONAL ITEMS THAT A NOT LONGER SUPPORTIVE TO MY LIFE AND DO NOT ADD TO MY WELLBEING

TO GIVE TIME TO MY JOURNAL – WRITING AND PICTURES

TO REMAIN STRONGLY CONNECTED TO MY HEART DREAMS

GRAND CANYON TRIP
Someone once said of me that I was the most organized disorganized person that they knew. I was not sure if that was a complement but over a long talk I heard that I make things look pretty casual, easy and usually don’t seem planned or stressed about things that others would find stressful. I am not frantic when I entertain etc. My truth felt to be that I have a plan and the stuff needed to make the project work out was at hand or I could find a substitute or maybe it just did not matter.
I am stuck a little on the word project because I don’t like projects. Projects=Work Work=Have to do it Have to do it = not a good thing. (Synonymous with “have to” is should, ought to, “they” would be happy if I did such and such) My view has been either “do it” or not and in the long scheme of things would it matter. The more adolescent in my life progress that I have been, the more “they” mattered and thus the more things mattered.
In my family pleasing days, I had a fear of becoming “not our kind of people”, my mother’s term. In my adult years, I found that I could never become one of those – my politics, social justice, visionary eyes, etc. turned me more toward the “Wayfaring Stranger” and beggars, thieves, poor, lost, etc.. After the Jesus movement when if you have not taken JC as your personal savior, you were not part of the clan, I began to question the bigger issues of judgment and a search for folks that knew their shit smelled just like everyone else. Compassion, taking the time to get to know people, and learning from everyone sounds like it should be a basic life skill but often only if you are “our kind of people”. My experience and my Buddhist teaching about life is that nothing is permanent, we will suffer, and I do not exist outside of others....we all come from the same spit.
My fear became that I would become “nice”, a hollow eyed suburban person that a saw so many of when I lived in the burbs and now see seeping into my community. This can also be someone who is not in search of the meaning of existence. For many of us, the simple child in us, just goes about doing and what is important at the time gets the focus. Until we are about 4-5, we really don’t see color of skin the same unless we have been socialized or indoctrinated to see it. It is not natural to see difference but similarity. Try as they might, my family was never able to convince me that the maids, bellman, and waitresses in the cafeterias were not the people to know and that the men in suits, and their wives in furs, and their often stuffed children were not boring. Mom sent me to one of the best high schools with the best girls from the best families and then on to a small women’s liberal arts college. I attended two charms schools, learned to do ballroom dancing well, and was elected to Who’s Who etc.. She tried. And with the socialization, came a long list of rules that got longer with each “joining”; my sorority, class officer, etc. I grew up Roman Catholic and still have my book from Dogmatic Theology which is helpful if you can’t sleep. I have not gotten past page 6 several times when really awake and needing sleep and it is easier than Ambian on your body.
I have often measured my life chaos to my underwear. Things are out of control when I look in my draw which potentially holds about 25 pairs of underpants and there are none. That tells me that I have not been paying attention and when I took the last pair, I started living in lala land which has “someone” coming in to tend to things. Tending to my things has been an issue for me of late, for several of my life drawers have come up with no underpants. So I took some action in the past weeks, move away from a sinking ship, saw my psychic, had a “get your head on straight session”, got my vitamin regimen under control and reviewed my bucket list.

The top of my list.
.. don’t let any opportunity to know your purpose pass you buy
And someplace in the list
...see the GRAND CANYON
Now almost anyone with some money can fly to Arizona and rent a car, or take a bus trip, or train trip or some tour. I said... self.. how would you like to see the US... the same way I see Thailand.. go a simple as you can.. take your camera.. have the time to ask questions and walk as much as you can.. The end of September, I will leave my dog friend with my long time friend and board my rolling friend for a joint venture across the blue lines of the USA – car living and stopping to smell, taste, see, and listen to the stories... come with me on this year’s adventure...