Transition

Returning to my American home from my Asia respite is always a shift. The most dynamic impact is the "stuff." In the bungalow, I have no drawers except two small desk drawers and limit clothing space except for a shelf, 10 hangers, and two wall hooks. I keep my underwear in a zipper mesh bag and when the laundry bag gets full, I drop it off in the morning and pick it up clean at five. I all is simple. I feel my head clearing and my eyes more focused with less distraction.

I am committed to making some major changes in my life and have outlined my task ahead to reach the kind of simple life my soul is longing for and needs. I don't know how I would feel if there was a fire or tornado and everything was swept away. One way would be a relief but in other ways, I would feel that I missed an opportunity to say goodbye to many gifts, trinkets from trips, etc. When I came to the house twenty years ago, I used a small truck to bring everything I owned for the first fifty plus years. Today, it would take a intercontinental van to move just the basement. It is coming up to the anniversary of my long time friend, Georgette's passing. She had 3500 sq ft and a basement full of stuff. When it was all over, not counting what others took or was sold at garage sale, I used a small truck to bring a few things.. my desk and bed primarily. The remaining items filled several dumpsters and went to the landfill.

What I experienced on the winter voyage is imperimence. I am a long way from really knowing it, but I am more accepting and aware of what foolish words we have in me, my, mine. Life is just in flux. Sit in a sunny room and watch the dust dance.. nothing is stationary. If we make a connection to a person or place and it brings us pleasure or pain, it only lasts a fleating moment while the dust is dancing.

Meditators of every style and shape

You just show up at the Wat and tell them how long you are staying. People who are serious and those that think it would be a lark are all there. A German woman and her friend, who for the most part was serious, spent much of the free time talking about those that talked They also wondered why more people were not sitting more. I finally asked why they were not sitting and their talking was disturbing my reading time.

The winners were a trio of blondes who remarkably were not from CA, but UK. They came in all smiles. Just graduated from "college" were about 19 and had majored in textiles and accounting or some other strange combinations. They missed "lunch" the first day and had it with the food rations the second day. So, at about 5 rather than sweep, they changed and walked to the minimart to but chips etc.. They disappeared and did not make evening instruction more morning sit. I know them, they were me at the time of my graduation. The best part, as I walked through the Saturday Market… there they were…. Same smiles and surfer attitude.

The last day, I did not ask anyone to go to the forest with me.. I just walked out with the deer, cows, and roosters and sat quietly.

Time tic…..tock

I have a stack of books sitting on my desk… all good interesting and helpful. When I have had downtime with surgery, I have had a stack of books on the nightstand….same same but different. While the smoke index has dropped to the caution area… of 90 from yesterday's 130 (mortal danger to the young/old and infirmed), I really am not interested in going out and walking about. It is a good day to read in the air-con. I had a facial this morning which I slept through. She even took the after pictures with my mouth open in a snore as the after picture. I should be rested.

Tiger the yellow cat that I feed and who comes with the bungalow is curled on the bed grooming and snoozing. I have no place to go and nothing to do for three plus hours… I pick up a book and the last of the gingersnaps call out to me… I would be great with coffee…. I put down the book and take the snaps… no guilt. When I am on the run and have snatched and grab moments, I read. Today… move over Tiger… we are going to watch a rerun of the first star trek… and may the force be with you… for the books are not.

If the Buddha got Stuck

Many years ago, on a trip to the farm to help out with health or home, I needed to get away and stopped at my favorite watering hole, The Salty Dog – book and brew. While browsing the books, I spotted a book with the title above. About a minute read and the book was mine. The pages came to me at about the same time as I was giving some serious thought to the Buddhist way. I am a slow reader and can't read a book without a pencil to underline or make notes. So I started the book, forgot where I was and then started again. About five years after I had the hard copy in hand, I found the audiobook at the Brighton library and quickly took it home and burned a copy. I stopped and started that also. Today, I finished the book and today I feel like many parts of my life have come into place.

Eat to live

Usually, when you go on a retreat… i.e. Kripalu type, you enjoy the experience, but you rave about the food. When you go a monastery you either are eating what the monks have gathered, or you are assisted to put food in a proper place. Spacing out meals is not on the schedule. After rising at 4am you look forward to your break fast… at 7:30-8. Some thin broth with green twigs, a side dish of veggies white rice and some sliced fruit is what is on the table. In addition, whatever the monks have gathered and can't or don't want to eat gets put out. On both days that consisted of rolls or rolls with some spread. You sit again from 9-11 and then comes the second or other meal that has some curry, another version of broth with veggies, rice, and some fruit… banana, watermelon, etc. The amazing thing, even though you are walking and sweeping and hardly sleeping. You are not hungry. I supplemented the time between with about 20 cups of coffee (with sugar and creamer). My fitbit told me I still got a whopping 4-5 hrs. of restless sleep. You can't turn over on a cement slab without waking up to cry about the pain in your shoulder.

I didn’t fall out of bed

The Saturday before my time in the forest for retreat. I fell out of bed. It was strange I knew I was on the edge, but I swung my leg over to sit up and ran out of bed. So boom the floor, and my left elbow made contact and mouth and the wardrobe made contact. The result was a bruise and cut that was more of a reminder of awareness than damage to the body and only minor damage to the ego.

When I arrived at the Wat or monastery, I was prepared for a difference from Doi Suthep…but I was not sure in what way and how this would affect my practice.

I would describe this group as minimalist, - little instruction, little furnishings, and little monitoring of you behavior. On the other side, little restriction means more personal responsibility. To do what you need to do with what you have to make yourself ready to be mindful and see things as they are rather than the way they "should" be. "Should" is outside Vipassana and is replaced with what does it mean and what are you experiencing.

The process of being open-hearted started at the desk and continues are I am dealing with things as presented.

The cost of the experience was 220 baht a day and 90 baht for bedding. I marked the amounts in the box and then gave the monk 100. There is a process, and there must be an accounting for the extra money. Out came the calculator and eraser and I sat as the Monk corrected the document …Bedding 90, Room 660, Donation 250. Next. Ah… "where is the bedding?" – "next door." Next door was another office and a monk who was busy on his computer review dharma sites. I could quickly see a refrigeratorwith cokes, milk and juice drinks and water. Next to that was a rack of coffees, tea, and some other 'mystery' drinks. At the end were skinny packs of material that turned out to be a blaket, sheet, and pillow. I was ready…. So up the steps I went to room 2W. The room was 10x10 with a big window and a little porch leading to a narrow dead fly area. What was not in the room… a bed. Lesson one. Things don't always have to be they was you are conditioned to have be… and you can still be happy. I did check with one of the others and found that, in fact, there was no form bed but you could take some straw mats to cover the cement floor. It was not extreemly cool, so one might opt to put the skinning blanket under you and on top of the mats. I added the skiny sheet to the skinny blanket on top of the skinny mats… and thus I made my bed…and was ready to go about my retreat….with no frear of falling out of bed only the potential of falling on the bed.

Feb 2015...loss

I have been a bit lost... and my circle of people has had some loses... and my words just got lost in my head....  I am gettng much clearer about friendship, life purpse...where I go from here... so I will write in a few days.... but for now.. just some pictures.  so they don't get lost

I wnt back to the 3d musium with Ruth/Brooke and Henry

there was a full moon

 Little girls like pink... I always liked blue... oh well what can I say.... if you keep walking on your left foot... eventurally you are on the right foot... or not


This is a recycled bottle.... cool

 below... not the way I want to do a long parade root.

...But then... maybe stilts are better than these shoes

and Cheryl et all arrived