This has been a difficult time for me. I feel like I have some clarity on the non- duality and that is in the here, and now there is wholeness. Everything that I have ever done is part of now, and there is light in the dark and darkness in the light and lightness in the dark. Everything – traffic, noise, clouds, my tea, the cold wind on my arms in the morning. Everything happens – nothing is good or bad. It just is. I don’t want to explain it, and I don’t want to hear someone else explain it. I don’t want to label, and I don’t want to put conditions on the words like good or bad, etc.. The difficult time is that I feel like I am surrounded by folks that what clarification, labels, analysis, definitions. Direction. Etc.
Why am I going away on retreat on Sunday? So I can feel my bones what all this means to me. I don’t want to listen to questions or explanations – there is none, everything just is. When I am here, and now it is all perfect, just the way it should be. What I see when I look at the sky is different than what you see. Maybe similar but different. There is no point in comparison, a trying to convince you to see what I see. You couldn’t if you tried.
There is something so settling about everything being just the way it is. I have spent years thinking I should have done more with my life.. and it all boils down to .. the ordinary life is the extraordinary now, and it is just as it should be. There is no better or less or more or not good or good.. it is all good because it is just that.. all good. Everything is boundless – tension, laughter, stomach cramps, etc.
Being awake is not all sunny days.. but there is a shift from being caught up in the repetitive replays of life, conversation, blame, etc. to just being present… right here. Right now and the broken record stops. This is no if only he would.. I would… I could. end
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