Sat morning...

These are pictures of where I am and have been from most of the time of the writing... they sell frappe and latte.. and I usually do a Hazelnut Latte with ice... which is 55b.. about $1.70.. I get a 5hr ticket to compute for 100 b or about $3.12... the blog has cost me about $20.. but I know from last time it is a good journal.. even with the spell check.
The little man sitting next to me still ...you can see his head in the pic. He is writing to some folks he met and is on the 15th line while I have answered mail, downloaded pictures and blogged through the six pictures and serveral paragraphs. I am in the empty chair.
this was my breakfast.. mushroom soup, fruit, and marmolade sandwich with coffee and juice

This is the ouside ...they also rent motor bikes here.. I would stay here again.. very convenient and every tuk knows Tha Pae Road.

And this is my view outside the breakfast stop.. you can see how convenient it is to Angel... and tempting.. but I need nothing ...

The more I have spend with myself the more I know I am far off the mark of being centered and present. I reread my early postings of complaining and being with the noisy ones.. that is exactly where I needed to be to learn the lesson.. but I also know that I will need to learn the lesson over and over... It would be much easiler for me to stay here in Thailand. I really don't have to engage or get involved or have an opinion or judgement or interaction with anyone. I have no idea what most of the people are saying and it most cases, I don't care. It is much easier to really be mindfull... without judgement or involvement .. more the scientist... just observing myself.. what I look at.. why I select this place to eat or stop or drop in....I sometimes can really feel myself blend to the background and fade from view.. that is when I can use the camera.. when the lens becomes my vision.. and I stop trying to make the picture be what I think I am looking at.. I just look through the lens and let my eye.. as the scientist take me the place. As a therapist I have tried to explain why someone is the way they are.. or I have tried to change the direction of a persons life that wants to go in another direction... I see many wealthy kids who have probably caused parents to drag them off to therapist.. to fix them... they walk around here.. talking to the children.. with their hair in knots.. and their nose with rings.. but they ususally don't drink that much.. prefer the country..want to know who the people are and what they think... and then there are the clean cut kids that travel in packs.. with t-shirts form Seatle State.. or Ohio University.. they have short hair and credit cards and are found in the english pubs.. and often have a buz on .. and sleep most of the day and party at night.... there are also very nerdy folks.. boys that you know have hardly had a date.. sitting awkwardly with a thai girl who is for hire.... and the boy know little more to do with her that the girl back home.. but you know that before the night is over.. she will have taught him a thing or two.... This is not a comment on rich and poor it is more on focus at this point in time in the lives of people. it is very easy to party and it is a great place to party... you can see Thailand like you see Key West...threw a bottle.. or you can get so into the other culture that you forget what your culture has to offer. I watched a french movie last night while I sipped my brew.. a young boy was very frustrated and saw only the black of the society... he burned down his building... and a good fireman was killed trying to rescue someone. Then I see the university in Ill.. and some very good student.. stepped into an abyis and starting shooting people who happened to be in that place at that time... The governor said.. he will find out why... it will be a guess at best.. for know one knows in what space the man was in... it was not the now... here and now... this second.. the pressure of my fingers on the keys.. that is all that is real.. and everything else is colored by the selective memory of the past or the belief that something in the future will be better. My quest for the next phase will be for equanimity.. to be able to face life in all its vicissitudes with calm of mind, tranquility, without disturbance... In the last days, I find more piti.. joy in my heart.. I am not sad to leave.. nor glad to come home.. I am just excited about where I am and I want to hold what I have taken/given to my day... last sermon.. but a reminder to me upon my return.... no welcome home.. just welcome to now.. to here... and poof.....gone.

To finish on a more travel note... this is the end of my hour.. I have more time and will return for one last puter before I head to the train.. 4:30pm..... Last night I walked around the market and finally found the spot I sat on last year with Beth and enjoyed a beer.... This year I just watched with my camera eye. I saw a young man with his sister working on soap in a dish. Most of the folks

are probably buy and sell.. but this guy was carving... I went over and started to look and along came a very large group of Chinese folks who wanted to bargan... I stood and watch him and the folks bargin.. and when it was over.. he had sold about 20. I told him, I brought him luck and he said.. that is why I will give you the same price as their wholesale. He has been doing this for some time.. and can turn out an ivory soap flower in about 5 min and then they paint them.. I liked the pic of his hands... Joe.. I have come some ways from the Christmas party.. these ofcourse have no flash.. ... thank you Monika, Joe and Georgette for giving me more of an eye...

the bonz...