It has been a busy week at Lake Woebegone. When I wrote about my experience with the mammogram, the gods of anxiety must be reading my blog for in two days, I got the dreaded phone call. Is this Bonita....this is the clinic and we have schedule an appointment for you to come in at the earliest time available. The Dr. examined your slides and needs you in ASAP. The appointment will be for 10:30 and you should plan to stay for the results and expect to stay for other procedures that might be necessary. My first thought, I am sorry I complained about the rapid wam bam thank you mam... and the gown that didn’t close. That did not fly, I must come in and of course the next appointment could not be for 2 weeks, They would call if ANYTHING opened up. So you hang up the phone and you are not sure which side or what or why, you just know that when you go back, you will not be herded into the right side waiting room.
I have been determined to keep myself calm and centered and take everything in stride and then BOOM the awaited plan from the design center was presented and all I could think of what pick up an ox head and destroy. Not a good thought when you are trying to keep calm. Ok.. this is a great reason to really clean the house and toss stuff, a good reason to check out your health insurance, will, health care proxy etc.. And a good time to assess what you would do if you had surgery, or chemo, or radiation. First I got a hair cut, they I tried to make an appointment with my kinesiologists chiropractor, That did not happen since he was in the hospital with appendicitis, Keep calm.. There is nothing wrong (denial). I think I will get some of the stages out of the way... So meetings keep piling up and tasks get added and I am overeating and the calendar days are falling off the calendar, but there is sooooo much to do. I want to go for a scooter ride but the bike is not running. I want to drive to the canyons but there is no time and too much to do...
Finally, last Wednesday the day comes and other than I could not find the place, the same place I was at a few weeks ago, I was walking in the door. No I did not have the insurance care you just copied 3 weeks ago. No nothing has changed in three weeks...well I did move, have three children and get married and divorced.... what dumb questions. I feel the sweat under my arms that were just showered.. and I walk thru the door...cheery person hands me a raggedy printed gown, I change, and take my bag with books, an energy drink, and energy bar, my laptop, my ipod iPod and a magazine and walk into the waiting area with folks all dressed in nice blue gowns. Is this a sign. I settled in and they called the names. So much for confidentiality... BONITA MAYER.... “How are you today”.... well how the hell do you think I am...anxious – I thought... and say.. I am a Buddhist and whatever will be will be. ....”Well, I am a Christian”.... oh lord don’t let her squeeze Jesus into me.... Buddha and Jesus really said the same thing.. love yourself and your neighbor... {Time to shut up Bonita...I thought).. my name is Tammy.. and she was just cute and perky.. So we started... I could see the tissue on the screen.. and she said...we are going to take pictures from several different angles... I thought she was using the karma sutra but I did manage to move my body to the places she wanted,,,squish.. squash.. hold your breath.. and go back and sit down.
The woman opposite me had had a major episode which resulted in chemo, which they later decided she did not need and 40 radiation treatments.. Oh Lord.. The other woman just kept knitting.. Every time someone came into the room, Everyone looked up like puppies at the shelter... and then back down when it wasn’t there name. I figured there were about 10 people waiting for the doctor.. so I turned on the computer and started looking up “stuff”... Bonita Mayer...what.. I was on my feet tossing stuff in my bag and walking out of the room ...when the woman turned and said...I am working with Dr. Murphy and I want to speak with you for a moment. I thought, I’ll go home and get the insurance card........ she opened the door to a closet and I stepped in ... she had the folder in her hand.... and she shut the door... You’re fine.. it was just a double amount of your tissue on the first shots................................... Well I felt fine so I didn’t think there was anything wrong... but look at this gown.. no one should have to wear this..I thought you might toss me out with the gown...................
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