Return

I looked at the blog today and thought… who wrote that stuff…where were those pictures taken – who took them… such a cosmic shift in my life since my last entry.  My camera has cobwebs, my bones hurt, my energy is sporadic. I now own the farm I called everyday and no one is there and my fifty year friendship with Georgette is now in my head with my brother Chuck.  Five days after the last writing, I was at the farm getting her into the hospital and a month later, she was gone. “the time has come” she said.  What is left of the life of her and her family is scattered about my dining room in art, coins, and her treasures which I will try to honor.  I am writing this on her computer and our old eating table we bought for our first days in Rochester before we both established our own lives.  My house is now the deposit of lives… Chuck died 18 years ago this week and his “stuff” is still scattered about the about the basement and my life feels strong at the core but also scattered about in the yard under construction,  the basement with everything moved from the walls for the insulation that is coming this week, the house is disarray and those things that give me direction on a shelf…my photos, my writing, my time to observe.  I have been giving in to Cosmic Karma Conditioning and believing my own lies that I am not able, too old  or what are you doing???? and much of the time moving forward and asking more of my body than I should.   Life is really simple.  In the words of my teacher Cheri Huber “…Practice Everywhere is our Zen code for letting go of everything distressing to return to the present for one breath. “Stop, drop, and breathe” is our Zen awareness practice reminder to let go of everything that is distressing and distracting and return to the relaxation of the present moment for at least one breath. No judgments, not a contest, just stop for a second, drop what has high-jacked your attention, and be HERE/NOW for one full breath. That’s it. Easy. You can’t do it wrong—and it will change your life.. Enjoy!”